I'll admit it. I eat at McD's about once a week. the kids love it. they have a "regular order". I, on the other hand, vary my order from time to time. well, I may have visited and ordered McDonald's for the last time(at least for me).
the day started with an outing.we went to the movies. AMC Theaters have $1 movies on Wednesdays for the kids. I foolishly thought to myself, "self, of course you can take all 3 kids to the movies by yourself. you are a strong, capable woman. this will be easy peasy."
this, of course, is when I lost my mind for a bit. what in the H*ll was I thinking? a 15 month old sitting and watching a movie and not having a screaming wildchild fit of ear deafening noise levels is what I was clearly not thinking about. we got there, got seats. got settled and I had packed enough snacks for a family of 10. they were happy. movie started, and within about 10 minutes it was very evident that the 15 month old was NOT happy. I told the other 2 that I was going to walk around with the baby, stay and sit here and watch the movie. I stupidly thought that perhaps the baby would fall asleep. (yes, go ahead and laugh out loud here)
a few minutes turned into me walking back and forth in the little lobby area (still inside the theater, by the doors and trash cans)and trying to keep the little angel from picking up and eating spilled popcorn and other yummies off of the floor. after about 20 minutes of this and numerous people walking by to go out to the restrooms and making nice comments like, "oh, he is SO cute!" and "wow, you've got your hands full with that one, huh?".
the other 2 kids came out. they had to go to the bathroom. we all went. once outside the restrooms, I asked if they really wanted to see the rest of the movie, or could we call it a day and head back towards home.it was all of 11:30AM by now and I was done. they agreed,as long as we could stop by and get lunch at McDonald's. I happily agreed because this meant I did not have to continue chasing the little wee child and keeping him from trying to escape the theater.
so, we drive thru at McD's and order our lunch. we ate at home and just as we were finishing, the man got home(early). the kids were excited that Daddy came home early, so they proceeded to tell him all about our adventures of the day. he, of course, told me I was nuts for thinking the baby would do well at a movie theater. "mmphphhhh" was my reply.
I cleaned up the kitchen table and started feeling a little strange. strange as in all of a sudden I was freezing in the 90 degree Florida summer. then I broke out in a full body sweat. then, I knew I was going to throw up. like NOW. I made it to the bathroom and proceeded to make a mess of myself. I walked out a few minutes later, and handed my clothes to the man who had a bewildered look on his face as to why his wife was now naked and green. I told him I was sick, could he throw this stuff into the washing machine. now is when he pulls one of his "d'uh" moments. he asks me, "why?" I said, I thought maybe I had food poisoning and there was McDonald's puke now on my clothes he was holding. (insert little snicker here at the look that spread over his face as he realized he was holding vomit somewhere in his hands. hey, I have cleaned up way worse. he can handle a little vomit.) and then, I quickly ran back to the bathroom to continue the pukefest.
you know when you're sick and vomiting and you reach that point where you really just want to die so you can be done with the vomiting? after crouching, kneeling, leaning, hanging over the toilet for about 2 hours, I was at that point. and my dear dog must have sensed it, because it was at this point that she decided she needed to take care of me. by taking care of me I mean she forced her way into the bathroom and stuck her face into my face and started to sniff and lick and whine. and I continued to have dry heaves(because there was nothing left at this point). I yelled for the man and he eventually came in.
he asks, "you OK?". yeah, peachy.
at this point I wanted to just lay down, but the man had decided to change the bed linens out, but had not put any fresh ones back onto the bed. I laid down on the unmade bed, in a towel, and tried to meditate myself into non-nausea land.
at about 9PM, I sent him to the store to buy me drugs. he took our daughter for help. the drugs worked and I was able to finally fall asleep around 1AM.
my children survived. the house was a wreck. the dog is still looking at me like I need assisitance. and the man has now told everyone we know how wonderful he is because he "helped to take care of me". he did eventually put new sheets on the bed, btw.
so, in closing....Alvin and the Chipmunks was moderately funny for the first 15 minutes or so of the movie, couldn't tell ya what happened after that. a Big Mac combo meal is not pretty at all coming out of the human body at mach 3.
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