Church annoys me sometimes(wow, that is a really awful statement, I know...sorry, God)

so, maybe "annoy" is a strong word. no, annoy is the right word. and it's not the actual church that is annoying, some of the people who attend it are down right rude.
the people I am mainly referring to are other Moms.
I work in our church Nursery. yeah, just can't get away from the smallest crowd. my little one goes with me and the other 2 go to Sunday School. let me use this blog of mine to share some helpful hints of parents of children under the age of 2 who may attend a Nursery at some point....
1.) if your child is sick, stay home. God has told me point blank that it is A OK for you to skip a week if your offspring are spewing greenish colored fluids from their noses or other regions. remember, when you are 2 or so, other people are required to help you blow your nose, and these other people can sometimes be another 2 yr old when you are in a Nursery setting. not a pretty thing.
2.) when you bring your child in, if your child wears a diaper, have extras. perhaps, dare I say, bring a bag???? it amazes me every week when parents drop off littles and have no diaper bag. yes, the church has a supply of some extras, but not enough for every child every week.
3.) if you arrive at church late, and the service has already begun, don't get pissy with me if I tell you that the Nursery is already filled to capacity and your child can stay only if you stay with him/her. we have rules for your child's safety regarding how many children can be watched in ratio to how many adults are in there with them. I'm not picking on you, it's not personal, it's my job.
4.) when the children's program is the whole service, your child may actually enjoy going to the service with you.
5.) if your child is a little monster who hits and pinches and bites, I'm gonna tell you all about it. if it happens repeatedly, you may see your name pop up on the screen in church asking you to report to the Nursery immediately. this is usually not a good sign.
6.) don't stand right outside the half door and watch your child cry and scream for you at drop-off time. walk a few steps away so little one cannot see you. I promise you, the crying most always stops within a few minutes. if it doesn't we will page you. we don't want your little to cry, either.
7.) and, last but not least...don't freak out if your child gets a cookie and watches a Veggie Tales movie while you are gone. if you are so concerned about sugar consumption and limited TV time, take them to church with you. we're doing our best to keep these kids safe, happy, and content until Mommy and Daddy return in an hour. a few cookies can work wonders.