Saturday, September 29, 2007

well slap an orange apron on me and make me a Home Depot manager

I am a handy Momma.I can say this with confidence. I have tiled. I have ripped up carpet(prior to the tiling, of course). I have painted. and repainted. I have wallpapered and un-wallpapered. I do lots of yard work. but this latest accomplishment....crown molding. I did it all by myself. yes, I realize I sound like a 3 year old who just pooped in the potty and flushed without assistance, but damn, I'm proud!
women are really amazing. we birth babies. and I do not care whether you do it via natural childbirth, loaded up on an epidural and narcotics, or a c-section or adoption. once you are a Mom, you change. forever.
when I was a little girl, I always played with dolls. I always knew one day I would be a Mommy. (however, I a NOT a Mommy...I am most definitely a Momma) however, when I played Mommy as a child, I left out SO much stuff! omg, I had no idea that being a Momma would include home repair, unclogging essential plumbing, decorating a home in a child friendly(aka child-proof)way, covering all exposed outlet covers, making sure your children wash their hands before leaving the bathroom, and the correct way to blow your nose. they really need to make a manual for this shit. I'm telling you, if half the girls today knew what they were risking by having unprotected sex, there would be LOADS more condom sales. I think if every teenager had to spend 24 hours being "Mommy" or "Daddy" (and I mean a real parent, none of that fake doll stuff), we would see a decrease in teen preganancies.
well, I've gone off on a tangent. I tend to do that a lot. I think I have so many things in my brain at any one time that they all sort of fight it out and whatever comes out, comes out. this is yet another side effect of Mommahood. you have been forewarned.
where was I? oh yes, Home Depot. I love this store. my husband will complain about the lack of helpfulness, but I tell you, put an infant in your cart and have a piece of paper that looks somewhat like a list, and BAM! you get helped.the orange aproned ones come out and offer assistance. and boy oh boy, tell them something like, "my husband gave me this list and I have no clue where to start" and smile, and BAM! they will find you your stuff in a flash. and yes, I realize this is not the way to promote feminism....but hey, if I can get in and out of Home Depot in 30 minutes, I'll do it.
and guess where we get to go tomorrow? you got it, Home Depot! the man says he need a new weed whacker. anything that will make his portion of the yardwork fun and exciting to him, I'm all for. he also needs to get 4 more corner pieces for the other bathroom's crown molding. (my next project) and mulch...in Florida we seem to need way too much mulch. it's a never ending thing...the mulching.
allrighty, time to clean up the kitchen and bathrooms and get the kids ready for bed. thank goodness it's the weekend, they don't absolutely have to bathe if they don't want to. and I can finally have my wine

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