the tournament

we all survived. these kids were amazing. I was scared of some of them. and they were, like, 6 years old.
Jack got his purple belt! Yah!!!!!!! there were probably 30 kids or so to get belt promotions, and then we all went outside while they got the place set up for the tournament. both Grandpas and 1 Grandma were also there:)
so...the tournament. let me say first and foremost how proud I am of Jack! he was in the ring where the 3 judges were from the other school.(fair??? not, at least in Momma's mind)so anyways, he was entered in the Kata division, to do the Orange and Purple belt sets. I know this because I filled out the forms and paid his entry fee for 2 competitions.(this will become relevant later)
for all of you non-karate Moms, a Kata is basically a series of moves. sort of a routine. there are Katas at every level, so when you learn new stuff, you progress to the next belt color, and to the next Kata.
we watched the first group go through. they were in the weapons division. let me describe it for you. picture 6 and 7 year olds swinging a big stick wildly through the air and every so often stopping to scream, "Kiah".meanwhile, at the other side of the room, teenagers were swinging big dagger like swords and fans and sharp looking hooked blades through the air. they were also screaming now and then.(did I mention I had no Motrin with me?) the kids from the other school were very....intense. they must practice "mean face" and "scary yells" at their school. I kid you not, this little 6 year old girl, she scared me. I would have happily handed over my purse, watch, wedding ring...anything she wanted. (however, once the competition was over, she put on the cutest smile and got all giggly and girly when her Daddy picked her up and congratulated her. so, I was a little relieved she was not as intense as she was all of the time. but damn, she was really good!)
next division, Katas. they called all of the names, Jack gets lined up. he was really nervous, poor guy. all of the kids from his school were, I assume the other school must have talked and practiced the protocol for tournaments, because they seemed very confident and knew exactly what was happening. the students from our school were asking lots of questions, as were the parents.
Jack competed against 3 other kids in his age division. he placed 4th. yes, that means my baby came in last place:( I wasn't surprised, though. compared to the other kids, he was obviously the most nervous.
here's when Momma had a bit of a hissy fit. he got his medal, and then came and sat down with us to watch the rest of the competitors. I asked him if he was supposed to go back up for his 2nd Kata. he told me his teacher had told him to choose between the Orange and Purple belt Katas for his turn, and then go sit with your parents to watch the rest of the kids. OK, so I assumed that meant that there would be another group doing more Katas after this one was finished. well, the group finished, and then they started calling the kids who would be competing in sparring. huh??? what about his second set? this whole time that he was sitting there watching, he was telling me how nervous he was, how he did not want 4th place, how he was going to do so much better with the Orange belt set because now he knew what to expect.
they called a break to give the kids time to get on their sparring gear. I told the Man that I did not know what was happening, but I thought Jack's part was over...could he go over and ask the Sensei what was going on/what happened to the 2nd set, etc. well, the Man could tell I was pissed, but holding it in so as not to have a fit in front of my parents, my husband, my son, and a large group of people from my community. however, the Man does not like confrontation. but, I think he realized that a small talk with the Sensei was the lesser of 2 evils than me talking to the Sensei.
so, he goes over and chats while we all walked outside. at this point, I have all 3 Grandparents questioning why we are leaving, what happens next, does Jack compete again, who is the Man talking to, etc. etc. don't you love when people are questioning you and you feel the best response would be to yell, "shut up!", yet, you can't say that to your Dad. so instead, I kept calm and said something to the effect of, we're finding out, not sure, this is the first tournament we've been to, so I'm not sure what happens next, blah blah blah.
Man returns, tells me this news.....Jack's category is now done. he will not be competing anymore today. are we sure he was entered in 2 Katas? he was only supposed to be entered in 1 Kata. hmm, he'll have to check the entry forms...blah blah blah. (let me say here that the lack of communication at this school has been an issue before, but lately they had been on the ball and this just not only disappointed me, but Jack was pissed that now he had a 4th place medal and did not even get the chance to try for a higher place)as a Momma, I can handle my own disappointment much better than my child's. I think, given the chance, I may have borrowed one of those big sticks and beat the crap out of that Sensei if my parents were not there to witness their baby daughter's rage. so instead, Grandpa took us all to Steak 'n Shake for lunch. a chocolate shake seemed to calm Jack down, and the promise that he would get a new Webkinz afterwards also helped. of course, his sister began campaigning for a new Webkinz also...she was really good at the tournament, she cheered for Jack really loud(which she did). so, after lunch we went to a local store and got a new Webkinz and a new puzzle(her choice...she found a puzzle with 2 unicorns on it and decided that was way cooler than another Webkinz)

thoughts on this whole karate thing....
I really do not see how these kids practice this whole wildly swinging the big stick around without hurting someone or breaking lots of stuff. if he continues and wants to do weapons, thank goodness we live in Florida and he can do this stick stuff outside.
we really need to work on the yelling is a good, acceptable thing to do- at karate.
a mean face is a good, acceptable thing to have- at karate.
your little sister will always scream "woohoo, go Jack!" at any event you are competing at. accept this now and we'll all be a lot happier.
your baby brother will enjoy chewing on your karate belt, whatever color you have. he liked white, he liked, yellow, he like orange, and now he likes purple. if you do not want baby spit on it, put it away.

I'm proud of you, Jack!

Momma stress

my son just passed his testing in karate and is now a purple belt! he is very excited and I was really proud of him. he had to do 2 sets in front of the entire class by himself, and he did them with such confidence...he looked really great!

now here is my stress. he is in his first karate tournament this Saturday. he will be competing in 2 different categories, both solo sets. yesterday in class, I was eavesdropping, umm, listening to 2 other Moms of older boys. they are competing in the tournament as well, but in their age division/level, they will be sparring. now for those of you non karate folks, sparring is the nice way to say, "kick the crap out of one another and get scored on how well you do it".

umm, I'm not so sure I can continue karate when he gets to this point.(assuming he wants to continue..which so far it looks like it. he loves it.) I don't think I can sit comfortably and quietly by and watch my firstborn baby get hit. I'm not really sure I can watch him hit someone else, for that matter. he's so...cute. and sweet. I'll end up getting thrown out of the audience or something, screaming at the other kid.

and what if he doesn't win? or gets hurt? or what if he hurts someone else? I would be so sad. my God, he will be able to get away with anything if he is hurt. he already has his "sad puppy eyes" face down pat. that works everytime. what have I gotten myself into? this karate stuff is going to make me go get a script for Valium or something.

things the man says that make me say "do what?"

here are just a sampling,,,I may add to this periodically.


man- "oh, these tops come apart form the sippy cups, that makes it easier to clean them, huh?"
I do NOT want to know how he has cleaned sippy cups in this house for the past 8 years that sippy cups have been in use. shudder.

man- "did you say give the baby an apple, or applesauce?". umm, the baby currently has 2 teeth. do you want to see him have a hysterical fit that he can't eat a whol apple?

man- "how does this shower cleaner thing work?" as he presses the button and then sticks his head INSIDE the shower when it turns on, thus spraying shower cleaner in his face.
and that, was, somehow, my fault??????

man- "do we have ketchup/milk/bread/water?"
this is said usually as he is standing in front of the item, looking lost.

man- "should I change his diaper?"
umm, no...I enjoy the small of poop wafting through the house like a Glade scented candle, honey.

MIA in my own house

my daughter, she's wonderful. she's 4. she caught a lizard yesterday and fell in love with "her" and named her Lizzie. we simply could not put Lizzie back out in the yard. she was an orphan and had no other lizard friends and she would be so sad if we put her back there. (I guess they had quite a long talk)
so, awesome Momma that I am...I got out the old fish tank and wiped it out and now Lizzie has a nice little home. she seemed quite content, for 1 day.

this morning, the damn tank was empty!(see above EMPTY tank) Lizzie is MIA in my house. with a dog who eats anything. and a baby who will eat anything he can get a hold of. I truly hope Lizzie is still in good lizard mode and can run fast. for her sake. and the baby's sake...I so do NOT want to be that Mom who calls the pediatrician and asks, "umm, is it a problem if my child just ate a lizard?".

I looked and looked. she is either already outside and watching me, laughing her little lizard ass off at me, or she is hiding underneath something, probably still laughing at me.

beauty quests...and a bitch session

Hydrolyze
I've been using this product for 2 weeks now. the claims they made are thus far, bullshit. I see no difference at all. every morning I am still a racoon. I'm not giving up, though...one morning I may awaken to an incredibly refreshed, younger looking me with no dark circles. the glass, it is always half full.

Victoria Principal's line of skincare is also not providing an amazing result for me. the woman must just come from really good skin genes, because I know she looks fabulous for 50+, but damn, it's NOT due to her lotions and cleansers.

what products do I like? I like hair color, mainly Natural Instincts. it's not smelly and it makes my hair super shiny. I only wish it lasted longer. 4 weeks is about the limit. and it does not cover the grays completely, but with the shinies, I can live with some gray.
I love MAC lipglass. pretty much any shade. I was introduced to this by my friend Holly, sadly, we were not drinking rum at the time.



hmm, OK, ready for my bitch session? of course you are, who doesn't love to hear the random problems and tragedies of a stranger?
1st- the man has NOT TAKEN DOWN THE BROKEN CEILING FAN IN THE KID'S ROOM YET.
ugh, as if I will look at it long enough and decide to do some electrical
work without him here? yeah, umm, I think not. painting, moving furniture,
OK, electricity is not my area. but damnit, man!!!!!!! I have the new fixture
sitting right there on the floor. can you not see how wonderful it will look?
oh, I forgot....it's a man. he sees only that "work" is involved, therefore
it's not important.
2nd- can this dog shed a little more hair dailey????? geesh, the Dyson is doing it's
best, but the dog keeps shedding black hair all over the place.
3rd- why can't there be a diet that includes chocolate cupcakes and wine? and rum?
4th- I'd like to be a nudist just so we had less laundry to deal with. however, the
cupcake and wine diet does not seem to be helping me feel comfortable with this.
5th- first few days of any time change sucks.

another IKEA weekend

well, a few more F bombs and they 2 older kids now have a complete room. well, minus the ceiling fan that their Daddy broke. but, funny as it sounds now, I had just said to him about 5 minutes prior to the ceiling fan crash and burn that maybe we should take it down and just put a light fixture up because I was afraid of them hitting their heads on the fan. the man did not find it too funny, though. he knocked into the fan while carrying 1/2 of the 2nd bed into the room and knocked it into the moving fan and 3 blades tore off, flying down as they came. really, it could have been so much worse. no one was hurt, except for my husband's pride.
Bob Vila doesn't need to worry. we're not taking over a home improvement show anytime soon.
so, last night was the 1st official "both kids sleeping in loft beds night". it went well, except for the fighting over which book Daddy was going to read which in turn caused Daddy to call off the whole thing and sent them both to bed without a story. but, once they actually got into the beds, all went well.
the dog is perplexed. she walked in there, looked around, sniffed, and then came out into the living room and cried. she never slept with them anyways, but I guess she liked being able to see them?
the other major change in their room is that they no longer have a TV in there. it got moved into the living room into a corner we are making the "kid zone". TV, Gamecube(with headphones, thank God)will be nice and comfy with a few beanbag chairs. they were staying awake wayyyy too late with movies in their room. so, I told them movies only on weekends, which so far has gone over OK.