Toddlerese

as I am now on child #3, I've realized I have learned a few things about parenting.


"Stop! Don't touch that!"
a 2 year old hears this as, "YES! I must touch it and grab it and possibly smear it on my body!"


I'll preface this by saying that yes, I do have gates at both entrances to the kitchen. when I am cooking, no kids are allowed in the kitchen. however, the 2 older ones can now open the gates and while that is a good thing that I no longer have to open and close the gates for them a million times a day, it also seems that the 2 yr old is always waiting for the opening and closing to occur and he sneaks in at the worst possible times.
case in point- making bread...both hands completely in a bowl of flour and this and that mixing and a pot of water is bowling on the stove for pasta. he goes straight for the water. screaming at him has no effect, but if I say one simple word, he will stop dead in his tracks and smile at me like a little angel.
"lollipop?"


"Don't spit!"
this means, "Please spit at me or your brother or sister! In the face is really the best way to do it! Go ahead...try it!"

I haven't quite got this one figured out yet. I've never had a spitter. I'm currently using the flick to the lips with my fingers method which results in him looking at me with the puppy dog eyes and me feeling like Mommie Dearest. I don't want to be the "Mom of the spitter" in the neighborhood. so sue me.

I'll be adding more to this list...off to go flick a certain mouth.....