They've Named Me Momma

7 months and 5 days

2011-10-23T10:52:00.002-04:00

this is how long it has been since I have held my son. 7 months and 3 days since I finally got to yell at someone about it.
I learned last week that there really are horrible, cruel people in this world. people who would do such things like call in a false child abuse report the day after your son dies of a heart attack. people who use words such as "dropped dead" to describe a 3 year old little boy's death.
it has taken this long, pushed ahead by an email and a phone conversation with the Sheriff of my state, an email to my Governor(he never responded) and numerous phone calls (most of which were ignored) to DCF. all of this occurred even though the Medical Examiner has stated that there were no signs of abuse or neglect within a week of his death. (DCF never bothered to call her for her report until I called her and explained what was happening. she called them and basically ripped them a new one for the incompetence they had shown thus far. little did I know that was just the beginning).
so here I am, no active cases involving me for the first time in over 7 months. does it feel good? no. I cannot imagine how many other families have suffered because of DCF after this case took this long for them to close. how many innocent children who ARE being abused, neglected, murdered went by the wayside while they were so busy creating reports and documents about my family? I feel like maybe now, just maybe, I can finally start to grieve.
so thanks, DCF, for making a horrible situation even more heart wrenching than it already was. and thank you, anonymous scum of the Earth person who called in that report. thank you so much for adding 2 sentences that did absolutely nothing except rip my heart apart a little bit more. but you should be proud, your call made it into the official report. many other things somehow didn't make the final cut. things like why they felt they needed to speak to my children at midnight after we had gotten home after saying goodbye to their little brother. things like asking my husband to give a urine sample when he was not even at home when our son stopped breathing. things like why a police detective and DCF investigator "interviewed" me for almost 3 hours in my home, after I had already told them what I knew. things like why my children felt the need to formulate a plan if DCF showed up again threatening to take them away(yes, they heard all of that conversation and it took months to convince them that they were safe).
where do I go from here? an appointment for legal consultation sounds sounds about right.

if I had known.....

2011-04-17T18:43:00.002-04:00

my last post here was on February 15, 2011. I was complaining about my 3 year old son sleeping with us and me not getting any rest. 1 month from that date, my son died.

if I had known, I would never have complained about tiny toes jabbing me in the ribs in the middle of the night. I would give anything to be awoken by him rolling over me or stealing all of the covers.

today is April 17, and we still do not know why Luke died. they are still awaiting test results, experts are looking at different possibilities.

all I know is that my heart aches every second of every day. I want my baby back.

I had never heard of a family bed

2011-02-15T13:51:00.002-05:00

when I was growing up, I shared a room with my sister. if I woke up from a bad dream or a thunderstorm (or the occassional earthquake), I can only remember a few times that I actually walked across the house and got into bed with my parents. most of the times, my sister just told me everything was fine, and to go back to sleep. and so I did.

fast forward to 2011. I have 3 children who are 11, 7 and 3. these three kids have all gone through phases where they have slept more in bed with me than in their own beds. we're going through one of those phases again.

the age of 3 is really a bitch. you are potty-trained, you can speak your mind, you can get dressed and undressed. you can feed yourself and quite often help yourself to some unusual snacks from the kitchen. but you're still only 3 and you still get scared and need your Momma and Daddy.

this began with my first son. he was our only child at the time, and after about 5 months of him magically appearing in our bed around 3AM, I decided to just make up a little sleeping bag and pillow spot each night on the floor for him. (he kicks...trust me, the floor was all nice and cozy enough for him) this went on for a few more months and then all of a sudden, he was staying in his room all night and at some point, I stopped setting out the sleeping bag and pillow.

my daughter went through it as well. she went through a period of sleepwalking and scared the crap out of me countless times. she was more content in her own room, but even nowadays, she'll come in and snuggle every now and then. she likes her sleep.

and now we're at our youngest son. he is 3. and he is in our bed almost every night. he will not creep in quietly and lay down on a sleeping bag and pillow. he picks up the bedding and carries it onto the bed with him. how many times have I awoken to the feeling of intense heat and suffication only to realize that I am buried underneath a Clifford the Big Red Dog sleeping bag and 4 pillows? he sleeps horizontally on our bed. I always get the feet. in my side or back.

now I have read a lot about attachment parenting and the "family bed". I hear Brad Pitt and Anji have a big bed just for this purpose. in theory, the family bed sounds nice. everyone is comforted, everyone is closeby, you rest together as a family. you bond.

what I rarely hear is that the Mom doesn't really get that much sleep in the situation. I am constantly removing toes from my armpit or trying to find a comfy position to sleep in with a 5 inch strip of space on the side of the bed. without falling off. my husband is sleeping fine, his snores tell me he reaches deep REM everynight. I kind of hate him for that.

my son will be 4 in April. perhaps age 4 will make him decide that his perfectly nice bed with bedding he picked out all by himself is an OK place to sleep again. either that or I need to invest in some of that Hydrolyze stuff I hear advertised for "intense dark undereye circles".

Happy Groundhog Day! 2011

2011-02-02T15:57:00.002-05:00

well, hello there! Happy Groundhog Day. one of the most useless and senseless American holidays ever created.
Groundhog Day in Florida means nothing. it's just another day in February. we're not expecting any blizzards here, and school is open. (sorry to those of you up North experiencing the blizzard right now. I find it all fascinating to watch. I would die if I lived north of say...Atlanta. I would have no idea how to cope and survive a blizzard. so, I'll just save you all that experience and stay put in the land of sunshine and oranges.)
OK, I am going to start writing again. I promise. maybe. if I remember.

Happy Father's Day :)

2010-06-20T08:28:00.002-04:00

so, even though I may complain about my husband. a lot. he is a good Daddy.

and that makes up for a lot.

a Momma's Best Friend....

2010-06-13T09:00:00.002-04:00

well, I know that many, many of you have already known about and used Netflix. I knew about it, but only just recently signed up. and wow, in the past week I have watched 2 movies that I really wanted to see when they were released, but never got around to it.

The Time Traveler's Wife- awesome book! great movie. I thought they did a really good job of explaining what all was happening and I loved that little girl who played Alba.

Seven Pounds- wow, another awesome performance by Will Smith! this movie had me as a sobbing wreck at the end. really good movie, and Rosario Dawson was so good in this as well.

next up in queue are Where The Wild Things Are and The Lovely Bones

Hurricane Season 2010

2010-06-06T09:09:00.003-04:00

well, it's here. it actually officially started on June 1, but don't worry...you haven't missed anything. it's hot as hell and has been raining everyday around 3PM. normal June in Florida.

Chief Long-Range Meteorologist and Hurricane Forecaster Joe Bastardi(yes, his last name is Bastard + i, poor guy)has published his predictions.....

Bastardi is forecasting seven landfalls. Five will be hurricanes, and two or three of the hurricanes will be major landfalls for the U.S.

He is calling for 16 to 18 tropical storms in total, 15 of which would be in the western Atlantic or Gulf of Mexico, and therefore a threat to land.

In a typical season, there are about 11 named storms, of which two to three impact the coast of the United States.

so basically, this is the same prediction that is issued every flipping year. if you are new to FL or any of the other coastal states, than you freak out and go buy every can of tuna and soup you can find and have at least 12 flashlights in your hurricane supplies. if you're like me, and you've lived here for 30+ years, you make sure you take a quick peek at the weather channel every now and then and go about life as usual.

what would a hurricane do to the oil splill in the Gulf? that could be grosser than it is already if if churned all of that oil up and coated the whole coast in those yucky oil blobs.

Endofschoolitis

2010-06-05T11:12:00.001-04:00

has struck my home with a vengeance. enough said. please let next week go quickly, please.

oh...heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2010-05-31T17:02:00.002-04:00

so, it is Memorial Day here is the USA. how did we spend it? well yesterday we did the really American thing to do that was Star Wars Weekends at Hollywood Studios(Disney World to you non Americans). we missed the parade. I was looking forward to seeing all of the storm troopers. sigh
but, 2 fantastic things happened! I took my oldest on the Tower of Terror and the Rockin Rollercoaster!! and...drum roll..................
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HE LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES! finally a child who wants to be scared shitless with me on a good ride!
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and then, we came home and I was abducted by 4 friends and they took me to Fairvilla Megastore and we all left with purchases.
and wow was that an education. there are still some products that really, I don't know exactly what to do with it or where to put it, but whatever, if it's making you happy and you are 21+, enjoy.
like for instance this line....
this was in the women's section, so I'm assuming there must be a lot of women who don't like to touch a penis?
Weird Egg Thingy for Penis

and then there were the dvds. as in, a whole room full of dvds. who knew there was that selection out there? not me.

and can I say that the staff at Fairvilla are amazing??? the young lady that was strolling around upstairs with batteries in her pocket, at the ready, checked each of our items to make sure they worked properly. "Go ahead, touch it...get the feel of it." yeah, umm, thanks!
She was the Albert Einstein of vibrators. Ask a question, she could answer it. it was very educational.

that was fun!

2010-05-26T17:40:00.003-04:00

so the last time I posted, I was headed out for a night of debauchery and drunkenness with fellow Moms. and a few gay males, but really, they're just like us ao I group them into the Mom group also.
we went to dinner and then to Jelly Rolls. JR is a place with 2 pianos and 2 rotating very talented men(1 of which is OMG really cute)who can play and sing any song you can think of. you write down requests and they play the songs. ALL NIGHT LONG. well, OK, until 2AM.
and when people drink enough, they get up and dance as well. and sometimes they end up on stage. doing the chicken dance or this other dance that had a tree and a branch and a nest hand motion in it.
all in all, it was a good night.
and I got home at 4AM.

whew, going out for a non Momma night

2010-05-22T13:29:00.001-04:00

I get to be me:) free to be you and me........

going out for an all adult birthday party for a wonderful friend of mine tonight:) all Mommas need a night off, right?

see ya tomorrow~~~~~~

our family is growing

2010-05-20T17:29:00.002-04:00

and my husband does not yet.
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hah! gotcha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you thought I was pregnant, right?
smack my ass and call me Sally, Hell to the NO I am not procreating anymore.
but, I am getting a kitty:)

I almost had a clean record....

2010-05-19T16:35:00.002-04:00

it is never a good thing when your child comes home from school and announces that "there may be something in his backpack that you might have to sign and it's not gonna make you happy, Momma". oh nos. pop open a new box of wine, asap.

what was the note? a detention notice. A FREAKING DETENTION NOTICE. from my son who always gets the comment "needs to participate in classroom more".
what did the little hellion do, you ask?
get ready for it.......
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he spoke. he verbally communicated with another male student. during lunch.
oh the horrors!!!!!!!!!!! must sign him up for juvi right now, I guess.

so, I'm not upset. especially after he told me that EVERY SINGLE BOY in class got sent home with the same note. that's a little discriminatory, don't you think? are you telling me that not 1 single girl spoke today?
geesh...I was almost the parent of a 5th grader. now I will forever be known as the parent of "that boy".
thinking of inviting his teacher to meet me for happy hour. maybe she needs it after her week. I sure as hell do.

Sundays and potty training

2010-05-16T09:52:00.002-04:00

so my youngest just turned 3 last month. and he is just now, this week, telling me when he has poop and would like to be changed. this is huge! before, he would walk by and this green cloud would follow him and the room would suddenly smell "not so fresh" and he would deny, deny, deny. and then he would ask other people, "do YOU have poops?" so not only was he denying, he was passing blaim. perhaps he will be a lawyer one day?
anyways, another reason why Florida is so good... potty training in Florida. need to pee? go over to the grass. go naked all day. it's warm outside and beautiful....enjoy your chance in life to be naked and pee in the yard. if the fence was a bit higher, I would join him.

one of the reasons why I love Florida

2010-05-14T15:38:00.003-04:00

this is a view from my backyard. Space Shuttle Atlantis launched today, and it is just one of many shuttle and rocket launches I have seen live.
do I know exactly what the space program is doing nowadays? nope.
do I know exactly how much money it costs to run the space program? nope.
do I care? nope.
what I care about is that there are only a few more launches scheduled, and then the shuttle program will be canceled. that makes me sad, and it makes the kids sad.

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T09:55:00.003-04:00

well it's just another hot as hell Sunday here in Florida. I'm alone with the 3 littles while the man is busy being happy and helpful and uber smiley at the mountain that is made of fiberglass and you get wet when you go down the big drop.

and for today, go look here ....Top 10 Wierd Animal Mating Habits
so we can all feel better about our own mating habits :)

don't open this unless you have an understanding of the Twilight Saga

2010-05-02T13:12:00.003-04:00

did you know that there is this site called FanFiction? I had never heard of it before I met some wonderful women who enjoy a good vampire novel and/or movie and also were left wanting...more. now, yes, it's true that I have renamed FanFiction.net to FanFucktion.net, which totally works because lots of people refer to it simply as "FF". so, my nickname still works. and not EVERY story on FF is full of sex. some don't even have a kiss in them. and if you do not want to read the more smutty ones, FF makes it easy for you, too. they have a rating system and you can choose how much or low little smut action you want.
and, you can make a list of your favorites, stories and/or authors. and they will send you updates when your favorites add to their stories. and yes, I realize this sounds like I am receiving updates via email for porn. whatever. don't judge me. it makes me happy.
OK, so the point of this post is not that I am dealing with smutfilled fantasies of bloodsuckers. the point is that this awesome person has complied a list of the completed stories related to Twilight fanfiction!!!!!! it was like one of those "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" moments and angels sang when I clicked on it this morning. because, really, let's face it. Twilight is kinda a hit with popular culture and apparently all of their Moms are very much full of great stories that may or may not include a lot of penises. and some of them sparkle. (true! really, this is good stuff!)
so, if you are interested and want an easy to navigate list of completed stories....look here- Completed Twi Fics

if you have any other book or movie that you really liked and would like to search to see if anyone has written stories about those characters, check out FF.net and you can do a search under books, cartoons, tv shows, movies, etc. and look to your
hearts' desire. I will warn you, there is some effed up shit on there. I mean, I guess some of those people think the vampire stuff is odd, but really....if you are ever bored and just wanna take a peek at ScoobyDoo rated "M"(Mature). oh yes someone DID write ScoobyDoo smut stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and, if you happen to become addicted to this, just know that you are not alone.
happy Sunday to you;)

"If You Build It, They Will Come"

2010-04-27T18:56:00.003-04:00

ding, ding, ding.....to those of you who recognize that quote

so, you know how you have little things(well, some of them may be huge ass projects)that need to be done around your house? and they never seem to get done? well, if you don't and are married to Martin Stewart or Joe McGuyver, then fine, go suck it. the rest of you, you will understand my happiness today.

let me just give you a little view into things that make Sandi cringe and say bad words underneath her breath and curse her husband to a long, slow, painful death.

garage door. hasn't opened with the click of that magical little button in,
like, so long that I can't exactly remember how long I have had to manually
open and close the m-effer. now, I know.....it's not horrible. I'm perfectly
able bodied and capable of opening and closing a garage door by myself. but.
but. I have the button. and it didn't work for such a looooonnnng time.

kid's bathroom. has had ugly, uneven tile for about 4 years. hard to keep clean.
has bugged me. a lot.

fence. has been needing a few little tweaks here and there for about 10 years.
some of the gates don't work unless you use every freaking muscle in your
body. pita. BIG PITA.

side yard. 2 huge, beautiful oak trees flourish there. nothing else grows there.
have needed to plant some shrubs to cover the dirt scape that is there. needs
"prettifying". need less of the "oh look, they grow dirt" look.

so, like any Type A woman out there, I made a list. I typed it up, bolded each heading, I even fucking used bullets on it. oh yes, I used bullets!

and I placed the list in an area that I knew the Man would see. right in front of the coffee pot. because we all know he can't function on less than 4 cups a day.

and....some of the items on that bulleted, pretty list...they have been done!

slap me sill and call me Nancy.

if I had know the power of the list, I would have started this shit long ago!!!!!!

IF YOU WRITE A LIST, IT GETS DONE

who knew?

as of this very moment.....
I have new tile laid in the bathroom, I shall be happy as can be to grout it in
the 'morrow.

I have a working garage door opener!!!!!! I almost feel like singing an Hallelujah
everytime I press that little button.

plants are being researched as to which would be best for side yard.

no mention of fence. yet. but I have faith.

what I watch on TV

2010-04-23T12:02:00.002-04:00

Friends yes, i realize it has been off the air for a few, years...but I will stop and watch a few minutes of this show whenever browsing the menu on TV

Real Housewives of Wherever the Fuck You may Live (RHOWTFYML) I don't care if they live in California, New Jersey, New York or Timbuktu. I'm watching!

Vampire Diaries the boys are pretty. enough said.

V that Anna chick scares me. sort of like my 1st Statistics professor. she looked nice, until she opened her mouth and started talking and you just knew she hated Earth.

Ghost Hunters I think the funniest shit on this show is when Steve and Tango freak out over a spider. yet they will see chairs move and people walk by when they are alone and question if it was paranormal or not. a spider, though? they will run and scream like a girl. I love that!
Oh, and there's the whole, I'm a plumber by day and ghost hunter by night thing. naw, I still love Steve and Tango. I once tried to talk my son into going to a convention with me and using his cuteness to get me closer to the Steve/Tango action. he refused me. punk.

The Weather Channel look, I live in Florida and things like huge ass hurricanes that rip your roof off of your house happen here. I want to know when I need to freak out. I like to be prepared.

2 Million Kids and Counting because, come on, they are not done. poor TLC has to keep changing the damn name of the show to keep up with the Duggar family. their graphics people have a very stable job as long as the viewers continue to want to peek into their home. (and I LOVE that house!!!!!! if I could be married to JimBob and have him build me a house like that, well, let's just say maybe I would have more than 3 children, too! not 19....I would be rocking in a corner with drool coming out of my mouth)

umm, that's my regulars. for now. I do NOT watch the Military Channel. ever. my husband loves that crap. let's watch a show about a war from 80 years ago! yeah, we know who won and who lost. no thanks.

Clowns are Not my Friends

2010-04-19T08:42:00.002-04:00

Coulrophobia- the fear of clowns

from Wikipedia(my source for all things clown related)
Coulrophobia is abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns. The term is common, but it does not appear to be used in psychology. The condition is common among children(my kids have no issue with clowns), but is also sometimes found in teenagers and adults(ding! ding! ding!). Sufferers sometimes acquire a fear of clowns after a bad experience with one personally. It can also be caused by seeing a sinister portrayal of a clown in the media,such as the monster that took on the disguise of a clown in Stephen King's novel and film It.(I will assure you all, I WILL NEVER READ that novel. I watched enough of the TV miniseries to get the idea of the storyline, and I thought it was ridiculous that the white make-up wearing evil clown dude was way more scary than a big ass spider. Stephen, I love you and respect your talent, but you had that one way wrong, dude. A spider will NEVER be scarier than a grinning fang toothed mother effing clown that stares out at you from sewer drains. NEVER.)

Coulrophobia can also be said to extend to a fear of covering up one's face with paint—the idea of hiding recognisable features under a layer of face paint can also unsettle coulrophobia sufferers.(not true, I have no problem with mimes. freaky and creepy with the whole, "let me pretend to be in a box and this is considered entertainment" thing, but I don't run screaming from them.)

In July 2006 the Bestival, a three-day music festival held in England, had to withdraw a request to festival goers to come dressed as clowns due to the unexpectedly high rate of coulrophobia among the potential audience. (how did I miss that invite? Beastival sounds like a great little party.)

for your viewing pleasure....no scary clowns are in here, I promise
Lady is Scared to Death of Clowns - Coulrophobia
OK, I'm not as bad as this chick, but I can totally feel for her. Her gripping "Parsley, the friendly sheep" is a bit...different for an adult woman, however. I'm sensing there may be more issues at work here other than just the clown thing.

and I'll leave you all with one last VERY IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION!
do not, under any circumstance, google "fear of clowns" unless you want an upclose and fullscreen picture of that mother effer from Stephen King's "It" on your computer. I may or may not have screamed so loud that my husband brought me a glass of wine in a sippy cup last night.

TRUE STORY UPDATE- on my way home from work, I saw this license plate next to me at a red light. you see, I am not alone in this life!!!!!

Sundays are a good day to learn

2010-04-18T09:33:00.002-04:00

not that you can't or don't learn stuff on, say, a Wednesday. but Sundays are a bit more relaxed here. no alarm clocks going off. we usually stay in jammies until at least 10 AM or so. for this reason, I'm going to post something every Sunday that I either learned over the week or learned in the past and wanted to show my children(if appropriate. let's face it, sometimes you learn things as an adult that are, in my kids' words are, "INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

and now....on my list of places I want to go to that I'd probably have to ditch my husband off somewhere in order for me to really enjoy it. (because he walks way too fast and a 2 second glimpse is considered a thorough looksie in his mind) yes, I realize the walking too fast is a side effect of being born a giant, but come on, the rest of your family is at least 1 foot shorter than you are. give our pegs a break.
OK, so anyways.....I'm going here one day. pinky promise.
See Every Painting At The MoMA In Two Minutes

sickness variety

2010-04-11T13:54:00.003-04:00

when I am sick, all I want is to be in my bed. alone. and for someone to check on me periodically to make sure I am indeed still alive. don't touch me. don't try to lay down and snuggle. give me some space to sleep off the germs and then I'll be back to regularly scheduled life.

kids get sick. this is no surprise to anyone. they never wash their hands and eat dirt. of course they will get sick. the past 2 weeks in my house have been sickly.

first, the daughter complained of a sore throat. but she went to school. I came home from work at 6:30PM and found her laying ion the couch, 103 temp, and when I asked her what hurt, she started to cry. off to the afterhours clinic we go.
she had strep.
2 days later and she is 100% normal, feeling groovey.

then, Spring Break arrives. oldest son has a headache. and a fever. and then throws up a few times. feels better for a day and then the whole cycle begins again. finally his headache goes away and he sleeps about 12 hours and feels better.

next day arrives and littlest son has the grossest, liquid, foul smelling diapers I've ever witnessed. no fever. eating normal. acting normal. just horrid diapers.

now, oldest son has diarrhea. school is supposed to start again tomorrow. and I'm almost out of diapers. if you're reading this, please send up a prayer for regular poops and no fevers.

oh, yeah...she used to be a friend

2010-04-09T13:04:00.003-04:00

do you have people in your life who at some point, you truly considered them "a good friend", and now you have no idea what or who they are? I'm not really sure if this happens more now since the invention of things like Twitter and Facebook and MySpace(do people still even use that one?). it seems like you can find just about anyone on those sites and sometimes, you wish maybe you hadn't clicked on that last "search" button.
I keep up with some of these people, moreso for my own curiosity to try to find out wth happened to them. I've given them my own names.

"God Strippergirl"
someone I once knew as a strongly Christian, family oriented woman is now...a stripper and I think a drug addict. no mention of family anywhere on her site, even though I knew her husband and 2 children.

"Clueless as Ever"
this person's husband has cheated on her. I know because he tried to convince me that I was missing out on something spectacular in his pants. the wife then blaimed me and has called me "toxic". he is now screwing someone at his place of work. and the wife continues to tell everyone and anyone who will listen that she has the greatest marriage in the world.

"Little Mermaid"
think about that song, A Whole New World. this chick has done a complete 360 on life and has dumped everyone who did not immediately jump on the "you're great! you're the bestest eva!" bandwagon. on a side note, she blocked all of those people so now, I really have no idea wth is going on with her. she's not loosing any sleep over it, so I will not either.

"the Eff Man"
this guy, he uses the eff word as much as he possibly can in any post he makes. even if the eff word doesn't really "go" with the post...he can make it fit. he can be talking about a day at the beach, a cuddly bunny, a cold can of beer. the eff word makes numerous visits to his site. and then he adds some nonsensical run-on sentences off and on that makes me wonder where he got his weed from. cuz surely somebody added a little somethin somethin to it to make him think that talking about how much he needs a woman is attractive at all in his actual search for a female companion in life.

"holier than thou all of you, damnit"
this chick....wow. I know THINGS about this chick that would make her holy water jump the freak out of its container and run, screaming like a banshee, away from her. yet in this new life of hers, she is a Bible quoter. a person who prays for everything. I mean, like she prays for EVERYTHING. if you chip a nail, she'll drop and say a rosary for ya. just a tad annoying to hear how her power of prayer is all that is needed to "fix" any problem that she may come upon.

OK, so all of this is not saying that I am without fault. of course I have faults. I try my best to be a good person and a good friend. one thing I have learned is that women do not really want to know that their husband is a leech eating scum sucker creep. they'd be much happier with their little blinders on and continue thinking he's great.
and if you block me from your shit, I can still see it. that's how awesome it is to have a computer programmer for a neighbor who gets a giggle out of hacking.

EDITED TO ADD~ if you are reading this, it's not you that I am talking about. none of the people that I am referring to are aware of this blog. so relax. if I have something to say to you, I would say it to you...not starting any fights via blogville.

Little #3 is 3 today!!!

2010-04-02T09:34:00.005-04:00

Luke...the child that won the war against birth control and became my third child....turns 3 today :)
Finding out I was pregnant with a third child was not exactly a happy day for me. I had already wrapped my head around the fact that we had two beautiful children, a boy and a girl, and that was our family. We were done and happy and complete.
Boy, was I wrong!
His birth not only put me through the most emotionally draining and stress and grief of my life, but he has brought so much laughter and joy to our home... God knows what He's doing after all.

Luke at 1 day old (sorry it's smaller)

Luke at 2, lounging

Luke today :)

So, Good Friday to you all, I have a birthday party to plan:)

April Fools!

2010-04-01T11:48:00.004-04:00

nope, she is not dead. she hasn't been abducted and dropped off on the side of the road in the Everglades to become alligator brunch. (OK, so I liked Nip/Tuck and thought that episode was absolutely brilliant and hope that if I am ever in that sitch I will have a friend to help me lift the body out of the trunk. wink wink)

speaking of Nip/Tuck. it's done. [insert sad face] and please tell me I am not the only person who was praying for a return of the Carver to slice and dice his/her/its way through Hollywood and go out with a bang??????
but no, it ended at the dinner table. and an airport. boo hiss.
that actor who played Matt kinda creeps me out. he looks so clownish. and that has nothing to do with make-up application. anything that looks like a clown is repulsive to me. that assclown from Stephen King's "It".....gave me the shakes for weeks. anyways, that Matt....he was gay, killed a Dad, found out that his Dad was really Christian and not Sean, knocked up a methy porn star, had a beautiful baby girl, and left the show with a fellow wierdish looking woman who is obsessed with beautiful children.
put a clown wig on this dude and voila.....hello Sparkles the Clown

other shows I am somewhat following include:
Real Housewives....any city will do, these women are fascinating to me
Ghost Hunters....LOVE those Roto Rooter men. lots. and Steve and Tango...umph
Vampire Diaries...they're cute
19 Kids and Counting...because it could be that kind of Hell. no matter how horrid my day was, I do not have 19 children and that thought can make me feel better.
V...there's just something about lizard looking mouse eating aliens that is entertaining

so, there you have it. my update. I will not promise to write dailey. but, I will be here more often now that life has quieted down a bit and honestly, I miss blogging.
I will update on me and life also, not just on TV shows. and movies about vampires. but trust me, there will be mentions of sparkling blood drinkers now and then. my daughter has Edward on her wall right now. she mentioned maybe getting jacob as well. I shuddered and gasped and when I came to, she said OK, I was joking.
love that girl!

hiatus, I will return in the Spring

2010-02-09T19:04:00.001-05:00

revamping the whole blog. taking a moment to breathe. and I really don't have a lot to say right now.

Christmas wrapped up!

2009-12-30T12:49:00.002-05:00

no, the decorations are still up...most of them, anyways! I am leaving that job until I go back to work, so the man can have that special enjoyment of the season and box things up that no longer properly fit into said boxes.

Christmas......was nice.

Santa came through in a big way and the kids got a trampoline! they had to wait a few days in order to use it, because the man pulled a huge idiot move.

guess what? Christmas is December 25. yeah...not exactly "news", right? well, apparently, he forgot. yes, you read that right. he forgot Christmas. and New Years. he gets to put in for what days off he wants, and he has seniority where he works, so whatever days he asks for, he gets. easy. he ended up working Christmas Eve until 5PM. was useless on Christmas Day. and he is working NYEve until 6PM, and working NY Day all day as well. so the trampoline just got put together yesterday.

kids are out of school. I'm off work. yah, great "family time" planning there, honey.

OK, onto a very serious subject that I just learned about this year. have you heard of these personalized calenders? you upload pictures(usually of your children, but whatever...I'm not picky)and you create a calender for your loved ones.

went over really well except for the one person who I thought would love it. my mother. her first words, once she did a quick looksie, was this..."where's my birthday?"

umm, if the calender if FOR YOU, don't you know when your own birthday is already? I put all of your grand children's birthdays on it. you know, with pictures of them? it's not a "Grandma" calender. if you want a damn calender all about yourself, then go to shutterfly and make it.

I have a lot of tension with my mother lately. she promised to take my daughter for a Mother/daughter function with Daisies for me. I had to work and could not get out of it. she said sure, fine, would love to. then, she tells me 2 days before the event that she is going to be out of town that day, so can we do it another time? umm, no. no, we cannot do it another day. because, you see, that would involve me changing 20 other people's plans and rearranging a dance performance that tickets have been bought for all because YOU decided to go to the beach for the day. no apology, no nothing. she was confused as to why I was pissed.

she pulled a similar move a few months ago when I needed to attend a work related conference. she was to *gasp* have her grandchildren sleepover for 1 night. she tells me the day before I was scheduled to leave that "she's just not sure it's a good idea. three kids are a lot."

now, those of you who know me, see the irony here. I am one of three children. when my mother was a mom to 3 girls, her mother lived nearby and was a huge part of our lives, simply because she was THERE a lot. and yes, I remember having a sleepover now and then with her.

so once I had a hissy fit and explained to her that telling me this at that moment was not helping me at all and rearranging so that 1 child was going somewhere else and she was now only responsible for 2 grandchildren, all was fine. but she felt she needed to remind me about 20 times shortly after that trip of how much she was HELPING me.

it's not so much of a help when I am made to feel that I am leaving me children with someone who doesn't really want them. not easy to go pretend that life is wonderful and learning new exciting things about teeth are my number 1 priority in life for this 1 weekend.

I guess what I've been forced to realize is that my mother is just not the person that I thought she was. I cannot depend on her. I listen to what she says, but I do not really believe the words until I see them happen. I have come to realize that she is not, in fact, moving to Clermont to "be near her grandchildren". because let's face it, if it hasn't happened in the 10 years since she told me this, it's probably not gonna happen.

my goal for 2010? to not be that Mom. to mean what I say and do what I can to make my children know how important they are to me, everyday.

oh, and yes...pics of me and kids on trampoline will be forthcoming.

flu shots and books......it sounded like a good idea

2009-10-15T19:00:00.003-04:00

the school had it's family book fair night tonight. I'm all for books and reading. they then announced that they would have flu shots available also.

I thought, "hey! I can do this! all kids get a flu shot and then they pick out a book. it'll be easy!"

if you are ever within earshot of me and hear me say those words, I am now giving you permission to whack me upside the head with a hard object and remind me of "book fair night".

arrived on time, filled out 4 forms. (me plus 3 kids)
waited.
and waited.
had to leave room for nurse's son to have his hissy fit while they held him down for his shot. later learned she paid him $20 to get his flu shot. little shit.

out turn! Momma forst, no problem.
E next...hugs and kisses later and she was fine.
L next, got his in his leg and he let out one surprised "ouchie!" and was done. not a tear from anyone.

until J. the boy was shaking. tears flowing.
and then the shot was over and he erupted into uncontrolled giggles.

I did get everyone their book of choice and we go tthe hell out of there. Momma needs a glass of wine something fierce after that dramafest!

so was not expecting to deal with this from the girl

2009-10-07T16:11:00.002-04:00

I have 2 sons. I fully expected that one day, I would get a call or a note or something saying that 1 of them was involved in a fight at school. got the note(well, email...but that's the same thing, right?)TODAY.
not a male child of mine involved, but the daughter. she told her friend a secret(which she now cannot even remember what the super important secret was), friend told another little girl the secret, daughter heard her...walked right up to her and hit her, pulled her hair, and scratched her on the leg.

my daughter is a delinquint.

I am the Momma to a delinquint in 1st grade.

she has written an apology note to the little girl. wrote "I will keep my hands to myself" 12 times. has finished all homework for the week. has handed over DS and ipod for the time being. and I emailed her teacher back and requested that she sit out of recess for the rest of the week as punishment.

good Lord. we do not hit. we do not spank. wth would she feel it was perfectly OK to hit, pull and scratch another human being?

if this is the stress we have in 1st grade, just send me the boxes of wine now. I'll keep a stockpile going.

ohhh, yeah....the stage that I was on.....

2009-09-27T18:45:00.002-04:00

let me just preface this whole post by saying that the new Bacardi Limon is completely responsible and delicious.

BACARDI® LIMÓN™
Named after the Spanish word for lemon, BACARDI® LIMÓN is a carefully crafted product that infuses BACARDI® rum to the essence of the royal family of citrus fruits: the lemon, the lime and grapefruit.

so I was away for a night to have a girls' weekend at a local Twilight convention. we had a lot of fun without actually purchasing a convention ticket. attendance was very low, and they were not as vigilant about checking tickets and such, so we went to a prom and a concert.

by the time we got to the concert at 11ishPM, let's just say, I was feeling very relaxed and happy. so relaxed and happy, that I danced with my new best gay friend and then we took it up onto the stage. yeah. me.
what song were we dancing to, you ask? I honestly have no idea.
but, yeah, there are pictures of it up already.

and then we stayed up until 4AM and had a great time.

so to recap~ Bacardi Limon is awesomeness in a bottle. I get very dancey when drunk. and there seemed to be quite a few people who enjoyed the whole performance because I was stopped while loading my luggage into the car by 5 people who asked me if i really was the girl on stage last night? lol, lmao, ffs.....oh my

I have a 10 year old today!

2009-09-23T16:25:00.002-04:00

that seems wayyyy too old to me. or I seem wayyy too young to have a 10 yr old child. (yeah...biologically I could have a 20 yr old child or so, but thank God the condoms never broke or anything back then)
I used to think it was good to start out older to have kids. I had my first in 1999 and turned 30 a few months later. now I have a 10 yr old, a 6 yr old, and a 2yr old and will turn 40 in a few months' time. that sounds so wrong.
he has had a good birthday. doughnuts for breakfast, chocolate chip cookies for snack at school for all, going out to dinner at his choice tonight. (Steak 'n Shake, it is)

we had the kid party on Sunday. local movie theater has a party room...excellent idea, right? everyone sees a movie together(Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs)and then they all go to the party room afterwards for cake, or in our case...brownies.
10 kids were there. and me.
movie was fine. only had to take my daughter to the restroom once.
party room was literally my own personal little Hell for an hour. what was I thinking giving these kids soda and sugaring them up on brownies and then having to wait for an hour before their parents came and got them????? good Lord, I had boys screaming and running throwing things that were not intended to be weapons at one another.
10 yr old boys are a breed of their own. they won.

9/11

2009-09-11T08:54:00.004-04:00

there are so many tribute videos, these are just 3 that I thought were well done. remebering back on this day when I had a 1 year old son and a husband who I could not contact for hours. news reports saying possible other targets were going to be hit, one of which was Walt Disney World. Thank God, that did not happen.
thinking of all of those other Moms and wives and sisters out there who did not receive a phone call from their husband or brother or child that day.

Nobody's Hero

The Rising

Hero

Yah me!

2009-09-10T17:08:00.002-04:00

I just bought myself 2 tickets to the midnight premiere of New Moon....
now who to take with me?.........

best PTO event of the year is tonight

2009-09-10T07:29:00.003-04:00

not sure who's original idea it was, don't really care except that I know I love that person. tonight......it's the PTO's Welcome Back to School Ice Cream Party. (a PTO is a Parent Teacher Organization. some call it PTA, which ends with Association. pretty sure they are no different and maybe someone, somewhere, did not want the name shortened to Ass is the difference?)

so this is a reletively short post, just wanted to share my love of ice cream with you.

Rocky Road, here comes Momma!

Carline leads woman to excessive drug use.....

2009-09-03T00:01:00.000-04:00

OK, follow me here.... cuz I am pretty sure I am right and all of those m fers in carline yesterday who cut around me are WRONG.

school allows kindergartners and kids in multi-age classes to be released 15 minutes early. I have one of these as my child, so by default, both kids get out of school 15 minutes early. there is a carline especially for these kids. everyone else goes to regular carline and then can start picking up their children at regular dismissal time. follow me so far?

here's the problem..... I got to school and the early dismissal carline was backed up all the way to the school entrance at the main road. so I was stopped in the turn lane, awaiting my chance to turn into school. but the carline had not opened yet, so there was no moving, nowhere for me to go. this happens frequently.

cars behind me were waiting for same line. so we wait. and wait. and wait some more.
at this point, there are cars stopped in the opposite direction as well, waiting on same carline.

then the idiots came out to play.

a green Honda van pulls out from behind me, about 5 or so cars back, and passes me and then turns a sharp left...to get in front of me.
OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT BITCH!

now, she has cut me and the 20 something cars behind us off, and she has no fucking where to go, because, yeah...if I could have gone I would have already, bitch!

so she has the situation where she has cut off people, and is now stuck, sitting in the middle of the intersection, now blocking thru traffic as well as all of us sitting there glaring at her and I'm sure if they were kidless cars, screaming obscenities at her. (I was not kidless, thus I made a few marked comments about how people can be so clueless and NOT NICE and how now I am the one screwed because if she gets hit, she is gonna smack right into me.)

now, someone for some unknown reason saw the green van move, and apparently thought that "aha! the carline is moving! I shall follow Miss Greenvan wherever she goes and I, too, shall be set free from carline Hell." so 3 more cars attempted the same maneuver.

the man behind me was very entertaining to watch, btw. I watched his face go 3 shades of red and felt his blood pressure rise way up there on the cuff through my rear view mirror.

finally, carline starts moving. and I sat. and sat. and sat. because Miss Greenvan has stopped traffic so royally that there is now a long line of cars of peeps who just wanted to go straight and have no business with the carline at all. had to wait for those people to get through before I could finally turn. and sit and wait for the kids. who did not appreciate the trauma I had been through at all.

and it's like, the 2nd week of school. I think I could make a killing by going car to car with Jello shots.

and Miss Greenvan...she IS NOT GETTING ONE!

When Pills Aren't Enough Sessions...#1

2009-09-02T01:00:00.002-04:00

here is the first entry on my blog from a fellow blogger who shall remain nameless and needs to vent a bit. more to come, I'm sure ;)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nothing but a Hound-Dog

...or make that horn-dog.

So, about a month ago my somewhat-of-a-boyfriend dumped me. Actually, it went something like this:

Him: I'm confused.

Me: Then we should probably not see or talk to each other for a while until you have time to think about it.

Him: Hmmm.

That week I get an email: "..I've been thinking about you a lot and would like to see you. I hope you feel the same."

"Ok", says I. Did I mention I am really dumb?

So we meet for a 'talk', and although I knew what to expect, there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to let him get off that easy without first taking me to IKEA and then spending three hours putting the crap together for me. I mean, he's the one with the car...and the issues - but that's for another post. One with rum.

At step 35 of the 46-step process, we start the "talk".

Him: So, where so you think we are right now?

Me: Well, I think we broke up the last time we talked, but then you asked to meet me, so now I'm confused again.

Him: Well, you are right. We did break up. But more specifically, I broke up with you.

Blink.

Blink blink.

OH NO HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, especially since I was the one who told him to STOP CALLING ME AND THINK ABOUT WHAT HE WANTED.

Dumbass.

After doing the only mature thing I could think of (considering he was in the middle of my last IKEA thingy) and throwing his toothbrush in the toilet, he finished putting the furniture together and we said our goodbyes. A solid, mature goodbye. And I haven't seen him since.

Except, now I am horny. VERY, VERY HORNY. Did I mention I am horny?

Everywhere I turn sex is staring me in the face. In books. On the TV. In movies. At the bus stop (seriously dudes, get a room). And now, I am THIS CLOSE to making a booty call. And I know that if my sister EVER found out that she would tear so many strips off me I would look like some sort of walking piece of bacon. I love bacon, by the way. Peameal bacon, specifically. Yum yum.

Sorry, tangent. But mama needs some lovin'. Sex. GOOD SEX. SEX, SEX, SEX. And he was SO good in bed. Did I mention I am horny?

I mean, I've taking up knitting for goodness sakes. KNITTING! To try and get my mind off sex! WTF?

Unfortunately there is no pill for this. Until there is, I'll continue trying to make the fucking disaster of a scarf (or maybe it's a lens cleaner), and watching episodes of True Blood...because vampires seem to have an incredible sex life.

Le sigh.

Are you ever struck midconversation with panic.....

2009-09-01T11:47:00.002-04:00

that you have absolutely no effing hell idea what the person you are conversing with is talking about? and I don't mean in the quantum physics rules of universe in an alternate plane of field type confusion. I mean, you sort of tune out because maybe the conversation is a tad dull or repetitive, and then all of a sudden, BAM! a word or phrase is said and you realize you have totally missed a huge part of the conversing and you now have to either,
A) pretend that you do know what is being discussed and decide really quickly whether to nod and agree or say something noncommital like, "what are your feelings on it?" or,
B) feign sickness and bolt from the room, or...
C) suck it up and say, "omg, I'm so sorry. I didn't catch that last part? what did you say?"

and wow, nice run on sentence usage.

let me just tell you, it's bad when you do the third choice. total failure. ended with person turning and leaving the room. sorry bout that. they caught me uncaffinated and sleep deprived and when the conversatuion did not begin with an "OMG! did you hear such and such?....." or a "I was shot and killed last week and lived to tell about it".... well, I entered the zone.

back to school 2009

2009-08-26T11:43:00.003-04:00

or, in other words.....1st and 4th grade here we come!

so, this is actually the third day of school today. I worked Monday and Tuesday, so the man had Dad duty and got them onto the bus and they did end up back at home, safe and sound. both of them were pretty laid back and casual about their first days. all I've learned is that I bought the wrong kind of folder for 1 of them and that there is a new PE coach who yells a lot and has a very serious face. haven't met him yet myself, but I can only imagine what my face would look like after being with 100's of children all day long in the FL summer. I'd most likely yell, too. I told the kids to give him a chance and I'll send in cookies for him one day. (to which the man accused me of trying to kiss his ass and make him be easier on our kids by sending in cookies.....(to which I said, ding! ding! ding! welcome to the planet, honey)

I had plans for today. they've all gone out the window. laundry, gym, cleaning the house, maybe going for a walk with the little one. well, it's so quiet today. it's just him and I, and he wanted to watch MoMo(Finding Nemo....or sometimes it means Elmo. it just depends on his mood). and well, I said OK. so he watched MoMo, I watched an episode of Kourtney and Khloe in Miami or something like that, and I folded and put away 1 load of laundry. and now it's raining, so no walk.
Nemo has just gotten himself into the ocean once again, and little one is almost asleep. maybe I have time for a nap before I need to leave for the car pick-up line.

Toddlerese

2009-07-20T09:37:00.002-04:00

as I am now on child #3, I've realized I have learned a few things about parenting.

"Stop! Don't touch that!"
a 2 year old hears this as, "YES! I must touch it and grab it and possibly smear it on my body!"

I'll preface this by saying that yes, I do have gates at both entrances to the kitchen. when I am cooking, no kids are allowed in the kitchen. however, the 2 older ones can now open the gates and while that is a good thing that I no longer have to open and close the gates for them a million times a day, it also seems that the 2 yr old is always waiting for the opening and closing to occur and he sneaks in at the worst possible times.
case in point- making bread...both hands completely in a bowl of flour and this and that mixing and a pot of water is bowling on the stove for pasta. he goes straight for the water. screaming at him has no effect, but if I say one simple word, he will stop dead in his tracks and smile at me like a little angel.
"lollipop?"

"Don't spit!"
this means, "Please spit at me or your brother or sister! In the face is really the best way to do it! Go ahead...try it!"

I haven't quite got this one figured out yet. I've never had a spitter. I'm currently using the flick to the lips with my fingers method which results in him looking at me with the puppy dog eyes and me feeling like Mommie Dearest. I don't want to be the "Mom of the spitter" in the neighborhood. so sue me.

I'll be adding more to this list...off to go flick a certain mouth.....

Laundry sucks

2009-06-28T13:20:00.002-04:00

I just do not enjoy doing laundry for other people. Yes, I realize I need to just let that feeling go because I have a good 16 years or so of being sort of "required" to do laundry for other people.

But really....I don't feel like I ask for too much.
Can you please not put your socks into the hamper inside out? if you do this, do you know how happy it woul dmake me to fold and put away laundry without having to flip the socks the right way and then end up with a pile of sand and mulch on the floor at my feet? 'cuz then I have to vacuum. again.

Can you not shove the wettest towel you could find into the exact dead center of the hamper so that everything item is now wet, and smelly? because your socks smell really bad now that's summertime.

and you feel the need to go out and open the running dryer to see if your favorite shirt is dry yet, and you stick your grimey hands in there and then get maple syrup on the clothes....could you maybe tell me? I would be so much nicer if you said, "hey Momma. umm, I kind of got the clothes dirty again. you know, the ones in the dryer?"
because if you don't tell me, this happens....continue the drying and then take the clothes into the living room to fold and wonder out loud where the heck all of the syrup came from. do a thorough search of the inside of the dryer in June in Florida when it's over 100 degrees in the garage already, to see if you can find out what leaked/spilled/all over the clothes. then, as I am reloading all of these "clean" clothes into the washing machine, you come up to me and say, "oh...are thos ethe ones that I wiped the syrup on?"

and then you will know why I'm twitchy and sticking my head into the freezer saying Momma needs a few minutes of quiet time by 3:32 PM everyday.

whoa Nelly.....she IS still alive

2009-06-24T14:37:00.003-04:00

yeah, so... I could be all full of tales of why I have not been here for almost 3 months. but, well, no excuse. life happens and sometimes you just don't want to actually document it all. nothing bad, just...blah

I have a pierced daughter now. she wanted a graduation present for successfully completing Kindergarten. so, she got her ears pierced. wicked cute and thank God no problems at all.

I now have a 4th grader and a 1st grader. have heard tales that 4th grade is a huge world of different than 3rd. kids change classes. like, my son will have to actually know to bring his science book when he goes to science class. instead of just walking over to his classroom cubby and grabbing it. good luck with that, 4th grade.

my littlest one is showing signs of wanting to potty train. either that or he is just playing with my tender emotional state of deliriousness by the thinking I may be diaper free at some point in life. either way, I'm going with it and he is naked 95% of the time now. cuts down on laundry, too. and one particular area of the backyard is very well watered.

I'm leaving on a woman only roadtrip in.....

woot! woot! woot! woot!

I hate when people eff with my computer

2009-03-28T14:51:00.002-04:00

OK, so for a few weeks now, the printer will not work. Says it is online, says it is working. Well, in fact, NO! it is not working. If it's not printing, I would say that means that the printer is not working. If the name of what you should do is in your name and you are not doing that thing, than there is a problem.
So, I have unplugged.
I have rebooted.
I have dusted. (hey...it needed to be dusted back behind there anyways. I do it at least twice a year.)
I have spoken nicely. Whispered sweet nothings to it.
I have yelled. Even cursed.

Guess what the problem was? Someone, and I know who this someone is. This someone was in my home resetting my computer modem with a "new, better modem" a few weeks ago. Right around the same time the printer stopped working.....
The cable guy unplugged my printer from the printer plug and plugged it into the webcam plug. wtf? I don't even have a webcam.
And I had to laugh when I pulled my computer out and looked at the back.... this Dell really is made for idiots. (no comments, please) There are not only names for each plug, as in..."Monitor", but there is also a little picture of the monitor. So there's no confusion as to what gets plugged in where.
I guess my cable guy either 1) cannot read words or pictures or 2) does this shit for kicks to see how many gray hairs he can cause to 30 something women trying to figure out why their printer stopped printing.

I can now stop talking to my printer. It is working as it should. Continue with your day.....

the joy of Pokemon Platinum

2009-03-25T09:31:00.003-04:00

will be known at my house later today. my oldest is getting an award today, he is a "Terrific Kid". (and yes, I already knew this...he is pretty terrific, but he is getting this today from being nominated by his classmates)

all he has wanted since Sunday, when this new DS game came out, is the game. Pokemon. Pokemon. Pokemon.
Pikachu.
Ash.
Team Rocket.
These are all names I now know.
Pokemon Happiness in a 9 yr old.....

Take 2 Motrin and call me in the morning

2009-03-12T16:33:00.004-04:00

so, I guess Thursdays are tough when you're in Kindergarten. I picked them up, was #6in car pick-up line. (YES! I think that's my best time yet! I think some of these other Moms live at school and are #1 and #2 constantly...but that's another post, I'm sure)picked up my paycheck, went to the bank, Target and home.
my daughter told me that she was tired. that was my first clue that somthing was up. 5 year olds do not announce their fatigue. they go go go go go and then they drop to the floor and fall asleep.
then she asked if she could change into jammies when we got home. in case she fell asleep, she'd already be in jammies. I can't argue with that logic, so I said that was fine.
we got home, she immediately went to her room and changed into her jammies and appeared 5.2 seconds later on the couch.
and then she said it.....
"can I have 2 Motrin and just take it easy today? I had a rough day."

what could have happened in Kindergarten that was so rough? but, I got her the Motrin and juice. her blankies. a cold rice pack for her head. and put on Thumbelina. she's happy now.

we all have those days. even at 5.....

give me strength

2009-03-06T10:05:00.002-05:00

she is 5. the hormaonal fluctuations should not be hitting her yet. right?
she just may be manic.

I swear this child can go from happy-happy to mad as a cow in line at the slaughterhouse in 3 seconds flat.

and what was the latest fit over?
was she forced to eat liver and onions?
was she forced to remove any and all pink accessories from her outfit?
did her brother pee in her Cheerios?

nope....the offense was heinous. it was awful. it was life altering, for sure.

she was asked if she wanted plain water or half juice, half water in her water bottle for school.

yes, come and arrest me now and take me away. I am a horrible mother.
no, really...you can come and get me. I'll be available for at least another 45 minutes before the errands begin.
you have mapquest, right?

whaaaaaaaaaaattt did you say?

2009-03-05T13:39:00.003-05:00

I think perhaps Hell hath frozen over and pigs are currently flying out of my butt.
last night, during dinner, which of course the 2 older Littles refused and picked at because "the rice looks different"...wtfever, kids. I made it. I cooked. I'm eating it. so what if it looks a little "different"(cooked in crock pot so it was a bit more mushy than the norm).
and, btw, the man is such a nonhelper in these situations. when will he learn to keep his mouth shut or simply say, "your Mom is right"? 15 years of training and you know what came out of his mouth? "hmm, I see what you're talking about. the rice is a little different. but, you should try it. I put extra butter on it and it's pretty much OK tasting." NO NO NO!!!!!! do NOT give them validation that simply because the rice is cooked differently than just plain old boiling water that there may be some issue with the rice being edible. do NOT tell them that by adding 5 tablespoons of butter to 1 serving of rice is acceptable!

anyways, once we got over the whole rice issue, my oldest child said the best thing EVER!

"Momma, I really think we need to go to bed early tonight."

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (sound of Heavens singing the joys of the blessings of children)

hot damn! (probably shouldn't mention damn and Heaven so closely, huh? sorry God)

so the man and I had an exciting night planned of.....catching up on movies. we have HBO and something else for free right now, so we thought, "hey! we could actually watch an R rated movie tonight!"
you know what we realized? we haven't been missing much. all of these years of putting movies off until DVD release and then forgetting about them...no biggie.

we watched "Unbreakable" with Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis and Sean Penn's wife.
SUCKED

then we watched the Fantastic 4 Part Two...Surfer something guy.
SUCKED

growth spurts and Twilight

2009-03-04T12:05:00.002-05:00

how do these 2 things correspond to one another? let me tell ya.
I have not read Twilight in any shape or form(meaning no, not even my ipod version with the freaky ass woman who makes Edward sound totally gay and creepy with that scene after the blood typing that they LEFT OUT OF THE MOVIE and he says..."Bellllaaaaaaaaaa"...sort of like he is is trying to add more syllables to the name, I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I do not like that chick's voice) in about 3 weeks. gasp. yes, 3 weeks have gone by and have not been found sitting on my ass with a book open and a nice glass of wine and maybe a girl scout cookie or 2 nearby. well, eff the cookies, I'll save my calories for an extra glass of wine, thankyouverymuch.
anyways, I decided to start reading Twilight again. well, I CAN'T read New Moon because my niece has had it forever and a day and must think her college courses requiring reading are more important than her Aunt's slight fixation on these books. but fine. whatever. see who loves you? just wait and see who brings you nada back from Acciocon, girlfriend.
so I started reading it...not even really sure what time this would be. let's just say...a lot. and I tell you, my children decided then and there that they are starving and although they ate dinner about 20 minutes ago, they need and require more food or they will start the whining.
we had dinner.... I even cooked. (yes, I know...another collective gasp)
we had spaghetti with home-made meat sauce, salad, garlic bread. they each had a serving and ate it all. said they were full. said it was great. well, the littlest Little did not actually say it was great, but when he decided it was quicker to use 2hands to shove noodles into his mouth and seemed happy to be doing so, I took that as a 1 year old version of, "wow, Momma, this is an awesome dinner!"

OK, so I had JUST sat down and read like 5 pages when they entered...."we're hungry".
me- "do you want more dinner or would you like some dessert? we have ice cream for dessert, I was just going to wait until you took your showers and then give you some..."
big Little-"I'd like a hamburger."
middle Little-"can we go to Steak 'n Shake?"
me-"umm, no, we cannot go to S 'n S. we just ate dinner. did you forget that meal we just ate, sitting in the kitchen at the table, all together?"
"I have extra spaghetti and bread and salad, why don't I fix you another plate?"

big Little-"do we have steak?"
middle Little-"can we go out for Chinese?"

I'm seeing that they are not interested in more spaghetti.

"no, we do not have steak right now, and no, we cannot go out for Chinese right now. maybe we can go out for Chinese another night this week. and maybe Daddy can grill steaks another night. but for now, how about an apple?"

"do we have ice cream?"
and this is where I start twitching and looking at my book and thinking that life in Forks couldn't be all that bad.

but I cut up 2 apples, got out some cheese sticks and grapes, and a spoonful of peanut butter for the littlest Little(he hadn't bathed yet anyways, so a little peanut butter in his hair was no biggie)and they ate. and then I put little man into the bath tub and the older 2 had ice cream. and then at about 7:55PM, the big Little said that he really did want some more spaghetti and he proceeded to eat the remaining spaghetti that was supposed to be his Dad's lunch for the next day.
this child goes for weeks barely eating. nibbling on this or that, never a member of the clean plate club. and then, BAM! I pick up Twilight and he becomes an eating machine.

yet just another example of the magic that is Twilight.

he is just so sweet at times, and then he can be a little monster

2009-02-25T16:53:00.003-05:00

he really is a sweet little boy. his latest thing to do is that whenever he leaves the room that I am in, or walks outside to play with his older brother and sister....he has to walk up to me, wave bye bye, and kiss the air. every time. he is so sweet I could just eat him up.
and not 10 minutes later, he sits in his highchair and throws spaghetti across the kitchen. and laughs. and then he drank some water and spit it out, onto the floor. to add to the spaghetti mixture.
did I mention I had just mopped the kitchen floor 3 hours ago?

Happy 2009!

2009-01-01T20:01:00.002-05:00

well, New Years Eve was kinda sucky. the man told me he had New Years Eve "off". I assumed that meant he was NOT working. I was awakened at 4:45AM when he jumped from the bed and was out the door by 5:16AM. I must have been delirious, because for a few minutes I was thinking how sweet he was for getting up to go get doughnuts and coffee. and then, when he FINALLY called me back at 3PM to tell me he was on his way home, I unleashed the wrath. OK, so he meant he would be home the night of NYE. I get that now. but do not leave the house without saying boo to me and then leave your damn cell phone turned off. nothing pisses me off more than that. like, he has absolutely no concerns at all that an emergency could happen and I may need to contact him.

and the children were not helping. screaming. fighting. picking fights. woke up their little brother from his much needed nap way too soon.

let's just say that when the man got home, he popped open the champagne at 5ish and I drank it. all. and we had pizza for dinner. I felt a tad better.

the kids wanted to stay up until midnight and I told them it all depended on behavior. let's just say they failed. 10PM they were sent to bed. much crying and whining and begging. nope, not gonna happen. I'm not listening to the 2 of them for 2more hours just fighting with one another because they're "there". no amount of champagne makes that bearable.

they were asleep within 5 seconds of actually laying down. the man and I followed and we were also sleeping soon thereafter.

must be a getting older thing that not actually seeing the clock tick over to 12:00 is not all that bad of a feeling.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T11:22:00.004-05:00

Christmas was fun:) the Wii is a huge hit. along with a car for the little man. and my daughter is watching the new Barbie Christmas movie as I type. I've been beaten to a pulp in boxing by my oldest son, which he found very amusing. but, I kicked his butt in tennis.

we had almost the whole family here for Christmas Day(4 people never showed....no calls....hope they are OK and had a good day...dh's family is known for their no shows). however, I would like to say that if you come to someone's home for dinner, the very least you could do is put your crap into the trash yourself. and if that person has a broken toe, stfu and get up and get your own damn drinks and food. I do have a 1 yr old. I do not leave half-filled cups and plates laying around my home, because, he will find them and dump them. that is what 1 yr olds do. and no, it's really not "cute".
I found a half eaten piece of carrot cake in the bathroom. a half filled glass of wine on the floor by the tree, which the little man was sampling(he apparently likes wine, he slept well last night).

yep, skipped a day again....but now it's Christmas Eve Day

2008-12-24T08:36:00.003-05:00

the night before last, I woke up at about 2AM to the baby crying. I got up, half asleep, and quickly walked to him. as I got to the end of the bed, my little toe on my left foot met the oak chest. hard. crunch hard.
so, long story short= broken toe. purple, swollen, ugly toe. walking on my heel of that foot.
and most likely, no half-marathon.

does that explain my non blogginess feeling of yesterday?

but, today is Christmas Eve Day, and it'll be nice. it's sunny, and 80 degrees here. daughter is the angel in the Kid-Friendly 5PM church service. then we're off to my sister's house for dinner.

I have to cook 2 casseroles.
have the man clean the house.
have son clean hamster cages.
have the man clean up the backyard of leaves so it does not look like the brown tundra anymore.(OK< it ended up raining so we were not outside anyways)
take daughter to rehearsal at 11AM.(and found out that Joseph couldn't make it and volunteered my oldest son to play the part)
be back at church at 4:30ish for service.
double check that house is clean.
have fun.

Joseph and an angel

Christmas Eve Kid's Service

Manic Monday

2008-12-22T13:38:00.002-05:00

so, it's Monday. kids are out of school. a cold front went through last night and it is 20 degrees colder today than it was yesterday. so, it's a little bit more "Christmasy" now. and yet, the news says it will be close to 80 for Christmas Day. ho ho ho, don't put the flipflops away just yet.

"Let It Snow!"....cuz, well, it's not gonna snow here and I know my friends are digging out of lots of the white stuff. it is pretty.

I forgot Sunday

2008-12-22T13:35:00.001-05:00

church, cookie baking, baby took a nap(gasp!), and I had my song in mind all day for posting...and then I forgot.

"Hot Chocolate"

The Polar Express and ladders and Mommas oh my

2008-12-20T19:49:00.002-05:00

so, I decided along with the Littles that we needed more lights outside. of course, the man is working today, so I took it upon myself to drag out the broken ladder and the strings of tangled lights. all but 1 bush is now lit in multi-colored lights. (and that damn bush.....let me tell you, if there had not been my 2 children and 2 neighbor children watching me so intently, I would have sworn like a mother effer at those lights) but, I held it in and behaved well. )oh, and no, I did not forget a child...the baby was napping)
then, they wanted the trees done.
well, the man will have to deal with the monster maple trees, but I did well with the oak in the back that is right next to their swingset. until I realized we did not have another extension cord to plug it in. oh well, another trip to Target will take care of that, right?

right now, they are watching The Polar Express and eating popcorn. (and the girl is singing a made-up song about popcorn)

"When Christmas Comes to Town"

Friday's Festivities

2008-12-19T19:59:00.004-05:00

today was the last day of school for the Christmas...err Holiday...err Winter Break. daughter got to wear pajamas to school. she was thrilled with just that. she also had a party at 10AM. so, I dropped them off at school and told them I would be back...sort of "Terminator" style.
now, usually, the little man goes down for a nap at 10:30ish. now I knew today would be an off day, so I tried to feed him like crazy so that he would be stuffed and therefore somewhat sluggish and not run like a madman throughout the school. (this is only my third child...you'd think by now that I would know that a 1 yr old and a school full of kids does not mesh for a "restful" day)
we arrived. had the monkey backpack leash. was going to use it for the first time. this is a huge deal for me....I never thought I would be one of those Mommas who leash their children. and then I had baby #3. I will never, ever pass judgement on a fellow Momma again. the boy is wild and cannot be stopped.
but, I digress. we got there and got to daughter's classroom. and then learned that no, it's not just a class party...it's a Kindergarten music program as well. outside. and it's 80 degrees today. wonderful. nothing like sweating while in Christmas pajamas and singing Jingle Bells. wearing elf hats.

and then we had the class party and it went pretty well. little man ate more and then we said our goodbyes and headed across the campus to oldest son's class. that party was supposed to have already begun, but it had not even started yet. this was a problem, because I was hoping that we could make a quick appearance and head home for naptime.
we stayed for about 45 minutes before he was quickly headed to meltdown mode. I said our goodbyes to the teacher and we got the heck out of Dodge. he fell asleep in the car and we all got to relax a little bit.

he looks so peaceful and attentive here. and the Oscar goes to....

"HeatMiser" from The Year Without a Santa Claus

Santa visited the Daisy Troop

2008-12-18T20:30:00.004-05:00

today was my daughter's Daisy troop meeting. Daisies are the Kindergarten version of Girl Scouts. she loves it. she gets to see all of her buddies from preschool who all go to different schools now.
today they decorated cookies, ate cookies, drank hot cocoa, ate crackers, and passed out cookies to everyone for a cookie exchange.
and then...Santa Claus showed up! it was very funny to hear the different reactions from the various girls.
"He's not the REAL Santa. I saw the real one at the mall."
"He looks very real."
"I think his beard is really attached to his skin. I don't see a string."
"I think he's beautiful." (my daughter....always impressed by the shabang of a good outfit, that one.)

and then they did an ornament exchange. guess what she got? a Hannah Montana ornament. sooo, in honor of Miss Miley Cyrus....daughter chose the song for the day.

"Rockin Around the Christmas Tree...Hannah Montana style"

Wednesday's notes

2008-12-17T14:59:00.002-05:00

made awful cookies.....realized halfway through the mixing that I was reading 2 different recipes and then went ahead and finished up hoping that the chocolate would make it good. it didn't.

have a dinner at church tonight. whole family. bringing the strap-on chair for little man. he's been a tad "boisterous" lately. hoping if we supply him with enough spaghetti and bread, he'll behave. I have doubts.

got Christmas presents wrapped today.
the man got my oil changed.
the man is now trying to fix the garage door. again.

one of my very favorite songs....

"O Come, O Come Emmanuel" by Peter, Paul and Mary

Tuesday...oh yeah, I forgot Tuesday

2008-12-17T14:55:00.001-05:00

well, for your listening pleasure....

"God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen"

Monday Craft Time

2008-12-15T17:25:00.002-05:00

well, I made 10 "I Spy" bags today
2 bracelets
fixed a necklace
sewed a button
added velcro to a bag
and did 3 loads of laundry

(add pic here later)

"O Holy Night"

Sunday's goodiness

2008-12-15T17:05:00.005-05:00

well, my "oh so happy, ready to decorate a gingerbread house, let's sing Christmas carols while we do it" children ditched me in the middle of making the icing for the house. the neighbor came over and invited them over to play Pokemon cards. he was more exciting than me and a gingerbread house, I guess.

oh well, I got to make a "pretty" house. and I sang. and drank wine. what is more cheery than a somewhat tipsy gingerbread house? lol

and check out this icicle action! pretty good for Florida girl, huh?

"Silver Bells"

Sleepy Saturdays and cookies

2008-12-13T15:08:00.002-05:00

sleepy day....got home at 2AM and got back up at 6AM. not enough sleep. cookies are sugar cookies rolled in sprinkles.....no intensive decorating today. they are yummy, though!

daughter had her first sleepover birthday party last night! she told me she was going to be nocturnal for the night, but fell asleep at 10PM. she had a great time!

oldest son is off to a birthday party soon today. not a sleepover. the family already has 5 children, 2 of which are twins(birthday boys). maybe I could convince them to keep him overnight? what's one more kid after five, right?

Siberian Orchestra — Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Twilight Friday

2008-12-13T15:05:00.002-05:00

OK, so it is not technically a Christmas song or movie, but today was to be the official opening date for Twilight...12/12/08 . But, because Hogwarts had some weather troubles, Harry and the gang had to postpone their latest installment and Twilight got moved up to November. anyways, I went to see the movie again last night. with a group of other obsessed Twilight Moms. great time!
but, man, I am too old for these midnight movies.

Twilight....Electric Light Orchestra

2 weeks from today.....

2008-12-11T13:56:00.003-05:00

is Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my...I need to get some stuff done today.
enjoy the tunes.

JIngle Bell Rock

haven't I lost Him before?

2008-12-10T10:41:00.003-05:00

first of all, I have to say this... I love Fisher Price toys. Little People stuff is the best.

that said, we have lost baby Jesus. yes, there is currently an all points bulletin out for baby Jesus.

the Little People Nativity Set...great toy. L played with it for over an hour yesterday, according to the man. and now, no Jesus. we went through this a few yars ago. I can't remember if it was Little #1 or #2 who hid Jesus underneath their mattress, but now I can't find that one either.

I know He is here somewhere.

damnit, Jeus, come out and play!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Away in a Manger

the man strikes again

2008-12-09T18:51:00.003-05:00

so it is no "new" concept that I work on Tuesdays. why? why? why?
does he wait until I get home at 6PM to begin the dinner process?
I've asked him nicely.
I've yelled. I've cried.
I've put major guilt on him.

none of it works.
I walk in the door to 3 children in Defcon 5 meltdown mode all because they are way over tired and starving. and then it's just so pleasant to make dinner and throw food onto the table while your children are so happy.

I was a bit passive aggressive and drank the last beer and "ahhhed" and "yummed" a bit in front of him.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

well, paint me pink and call me tickled

2008-12-08T09:29:00.003-05:00

a child of mine has taken it upon himself to do a household chore all by himself! no threats, yelling voices, or a Momma counting outloud to make him do it. I just about fell over and couldn't decide whether I should just smile or cry with excitment.
the littlest Little, (who probably was trying to make it up to me for the whole glitter incident) picked up every article of jammie clothing and put them, one by one, into the hamper. Yeah L!!!!!!!! Momma is so happy! I've trained you in 20 months to do something that your Daddy has not mastered in 49 years! you rock!!!!

Laughing Christmas

things you do not want to be told while taking a shower

2008-12-07T10:53:00.003-05:00

when you have been awake since 4AM because your youngest child does not believe in sleep, and you make it to 9AM and everyone has been fed and clothed and the kitchen has been cleaned up and you decide to go take a shower, this is what you do NOT want to hear.

"umm, Momma?" asks daughter
"yes?" you answer
"umm, I have something to tell you that probably won't make you smile"
RED LIGHTS AND WARNING SIRENS INSTANTLY GO OFF INSIDE MY HEAD
"what happened?" I asked, as I rinse the shampoo out of my hair
"well, Luke kind of got th glitter and glittered the carpet"
"what carpet?" I ask, now hurridly rinsing
"the carpet in the family room"
and then in walks the littlest Little and he has blue glitter all over his chin and in his mouth. I guess he decided to eat some glitter while he was decorating?
"I'll be there in a minute" I say, "take L outside for a few minutes"

so, after vacuuming glitter and wiping off chins and making a baby drink water to rinse out the glitter mouth....both older Littles are sentenced to doing hard labor today. they admitted they went to the kitchen for a snack while I showered(they ate waffles like 5 minutes prior to this, why they needed a snack I have no idea)and left the gate open. thus allowing L access to the kitchen with the glitter on the counter which he had to move a chair over to the counter to get to the glitter. all of this happened and neither of them noticed their brother was A)missing, B)making lots of noise in the kitchen by himself, or C)not in the family room playing blocks like he was 1 minute earlier. therefore, windows will be washed, leaves will be raked, floors will be swept, and poop will be scooped in the backyard.

Hark, The Herald Angels Sing

Take the "Life" Test

2008-12-06T16:50:00.004-05:00

OK, so here's a list that I copied from a friendly tea drinking buddy's blog....copy and paste for your own test. oh, and Sonya....I like your way better,anyways!

Bold the Ones You've Done

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars - in a tent
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (world?)
8. Climbed a mountain9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo(like in front of people? no)
11. Bungee Jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon...a Half in a few weeks!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Been transported in an ambulance
46. Walked on a beach by moonlight
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had Chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake trust me, you wouldn't WANT to.
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day...umm, Twilight,anyone?

Well, 42 of 100...umm, does that mean I just failed at life?

Peanuts Gang...O Christmas Tree

Christmas at Bass Pro Shop?

2008-12-06T07:51:00.004-05:00

so I can understand how stores are hurting and wanting to do whatever it takes to get people to choose their store over so and so's store. and I'd just like to say that Bass Pro Shop, not one of my normal "favorite places to go" succeeded in doing just this. Santa's Wonderland with no wait, fake snow, stuffed reindeer a plenty, toy trains, remote control trucks to play with, and oh yes...the laser gun target practice. mustn't forget that. what's Christmas without a little shooting?

Santa was nice, did not get a pic with all 3 of them looking at me, though. going to try one more Santa to try to get a Christmas card pic.

all was fine until my daughter decided the snow needed a bit of fluffing. handfuls of fake snow went flying through the air. all over us. it was that sparkly, somewhat sticky, fake snow that adhers to your skin. yeah...my van is kinda sparkly now.

and for your listening pleasure today, in case you don't recognize the singer.....it's C3-PO ! A Star Wars Christmas...anyone else out there remember watching this atrocious show?

Christmas In the Stars

the climber has struck

2008-12-04T20:49:00.004-05:00

he did it. he learned how to climb out of his crib. 3 times. no broken bones or injuries other than my family's eardrums from the screaming.

he did it for the first time at 12:03AM. wth was he doing awake at 12:03? I heard the thunk...and then the scream. I ran over there, opened the door to see him...not crying because he was hurt. no, crying because now he could not reach his blankie which had not made the trip with him.

I got him settled down, explained the dangers, got him all tucked in again.

2:42AM came the second thunk. same scenario as before.

now, you may ask yourself....why did she put him back in the crib? it was 2:42AM, that's why.

4:23AM and again with the thunk. I brought him to bed with us and he fell asleep immediately and then proceeded to kick the man in the ribs.

guess what I am buying today? no, no, not handcuffs or leashes. a toddler bed. my baby is getting a toddler bed. no more crib.

Sleigh Ride

I suck

2008-12-04T11:39:00.003-05:00

I should never have publicly stated that I would add a song a day. I missed yesterday. I forgot. I have added 2 for today, though.

I am finally starting to kinda sorta get into the Christmas spirit this year. We have lights up outside, and half of them are not working because we need to get a new extension cord to plug them in. A few months back I was trimming the bushes(yeah, lol)out front around the palm tree and all of a sudden this huge M effer snake came right out straight at me. it shot out right between my feet and I did the only sane thing in the world. I was holding an electric hedge trimmer and I went at the thing with it. it was faster than me. I killed the extension cord and the snake got away. I never got around to buying a new one because, well, how often do you use an extension cord, anyways? Christmas time.
gotta get a new one so we can be all twinkly like the neighbors. although they have a few of those blow up figures in their yard as well. I'm not too keen on Santa and Mary sharing space in my yard.

Christmas in the Caribbean

December 2

2008-12-03T00:01:00.003-05:00

well, technically it is December 3 already, but only by a few minutes. let's not get too picky.
and how is it that I have a king sized bed and have been pushed out? the man is comfy. the baby is comfy. and for some reason the oldest boy is quite comfy in there right now as well. he was muttering something about, "the water is too cold and she won't stop breathing on me" and climbed into my bed.when I asked him who was breathing on him, he said, "Garfield". (the dog....who is also asleep, btw)
hmmmmm, I am beginning to think I have the comfiest, coziest bed in the world. I hope I get to sleep in it soon.

My Grown Up Christmas List

It's December!

2008-12-01T11:01:00.003-05:00

and I am going to try to add a Christmas song each day to the playlist. so just be warned that you may be reading about something very inappropriate and hearing jingly bells and Jesus music in the background.

Where Are You, Christmas?

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

2008-12-01T10:39:00.003-05:00

so we were watching this off and on while I was making the stuffing. my oldest son loves Foster's Home for Imanginary Friends. it's a cartoon about a house where all of the imanginary friends in the world live in between having a home with a child. kinda cute, sort of a Nickolodeon Monsters, Inc.
so anyways, he yells out that the Foster's float is next. the man asks if it is a little odd to be advertising beer at a holiday parade for kids. I told him it was a different Foster's.
the kids are watching. and then....this happened

and I laughed and laughed and the kids laughed because, hey, they assumed soemthing was pretty funny. the man looks at me and asks me what is so funny? he has NEVER HEARD OF BEING RICKROLLED. gasp...must keep him more informed of all of my useless knowledge.

What's better than a little family food poisoning?

2008-11-29T14:32:00.002-05:00

oh my God.

is the holiday over yet?

because we haven't had nearly enough puking or pooing or stink. it all started off well. Thanksgiving came, I made stuffing at home and had desserts bought and ready. (hey, I had to work the day before and seriously had no time to bake. and it has been like 80 degrees and my kitchen heats up like a Martha Stewart Hell Island when I bake anything for more than 30 minutes.)
we arrived at my sister's at 1:30. on time. awesomeness.
we ate, everything was really good and I was stuffed. I have not eaten to the omfg, I may just explode stage in a very long time and it was yummy.
kids were good. they ate. minimal food throwing from the Littlest Little. (they have a dog, so clean up was minimal)
got home, everyone got into bed and I did some laundry whilst writing the next New York Times best seller(hey, it's MY dream, OK).
and then, the next day happened.

son #1 woke up and ate a doughnut and then went to my bed and fell back to sleep. unusual, yes...but he was up late the night before so I thought he was just tired.

the man announced that he had a stomach problem and then went back into the bathroom that he had just come out of.

I was not feeling 100%, but thought I was just tired.

at approximately 10 AM, son #1 walks out of my bedroom and says those famous words that all Mommas in the world know and fear. "Momma, I don't feel so blaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh". all over himself and the floor. I got him to the kitchen sink where he proceeded to throw up for a few more minutes. he got into the shower while I cleaned it all up, and when he came out, he announced that he was now fine and then collapsed onto my bed again and slept for 10 hours.

the man made appearances off and on all day in and out of the bathroom.

at dinnertime, everyone seemed better. I made pizzas and we all ate.

baby bath time came and as I was drying off the little one, he puked. on me. on the bathroom floor. and on himself.

I restarted the bath and put him right back in. where he proceeded to throw up again. and have diarrhea. IN THE TUB.

I yelled for the man to get himself to me asap and take little man to the shower. I then cleaned the tub and bathroom.

got him clean and jammied and to bed. he woke up 2 hours later and puked again. this time, however, he only hit the towel that I had laid down onto the bed and his shirt. the man took care of that episode.

3AM it hit me. at least I was allowed some privacy (aka no one woke up and helped me at all) for my vomiting. I then went back to bed. and slept until 9AM. the man got up with the kids and let me sleep. bless him.

I have not made the phone call yet to see if anyone else is sick. were we poisoned? was it a bug that was already brewing in one of the Littles that decided the day after Thanksgiving was the day to make its' appearance? we shall see. I have doubts about my mil's sweet potatos. I'll just make that statement now.

I've been Twilighted twice so far

2008-11-24T12:36:00.002-05:00

and I am happy:)

yes, budget limitations are very evident in the special effects scenes. sparkling Edward looked like a sort of glittery sweaty Edward who was having a panic attack. Edward sucking out the venom was more comical than I ever thought sucking out venom could be.

I loved seeing Stephenie Meyer in the diner scene! Jacob was so cute. makes me wonder how the hell New Moon Jacob will look. I'll worry about that then. perhaps he will have a major growth spurt and be just fine. teenaged boys have been known to do that. 'cuz Jacob is supposed to be like 6 foot 7 or so. huge platform shoes, maybe?

I saw it at midnight and loved that experience! so much fun:)

I saw it Saturday night with my 9 yr old son and 12 yr old niece. more fun:) and we got to see the new Harry Potter preview, too.

overall, I give it a solid B. room for improvement, but satisfying.

Hamster War

2008-11-09T13:51:00.002-05:00

well, yesterday afternoon I was getting my grocery list ready and then heard this really odd, scary sound. it sounded like a child was screaming into a 2 liter bottle of soda and every so often I would hear a grunt.(no, don't ask me why I thought that is what it sounded like. my children have never screamed into a 2 liter bottle of soda, we're a can kind of family. that is just what I thought of when I heard the sound).so I hear this sound and can account for all three Littles because they are sitting right with me. all of them are fine. they are all looking at me, though, wondering what the sound is coming from.
oldest son jumps up and screams, "Cali!"
daughter screams, "Willow!"
and they both get up and run towards their bedroom. they open the door and the noise gets much louder. it is the hamsters, who apparently have declared war on one another and are attacking each other. they are chasing each other around the cage. bedding is flying up in tufts. screams can be heard. yes, hamsters scream. it's not pleasant to hear, not that anyone screaming in pain or terror is a nice sound, but still, this was one of those "ouch, that hurts my ears" kind of scream.
son opens top and starts to put his hand in there. "STOP!!!!!!!!!!!" I scream. man, we can all scream in this family....
all I could picture was his little hand getting mauled by 2 mutant, insane hamsters. not gonna happen, mister. not on my watch.
so then I had to figure out how to get them apart. I sure as hell was not putting my hand in there. no little hands were going in there.
and then, I thought of the tupperware.
I got a sandwich container lid from the kitchen. I separated the two mongrels and then scooted one over to one far side of the cage. alone. I picked up Willow, who was sporting a bloody nose and was panting. I got a baby wipe and wiped Willow's nose off, small cut on her little hammy nose, no other injuries.
I put convict #1 into the ball and put her in the kitchen, aka solitary confinement.
got out convict #2 and used about 4 wipes on her. "Skipper" was the main victim here. she has 2 bites on her back, a bite on her foot and a cut ear. Willow is a bad ass little fighter, it seems. who knew??????????
so, we got all kids and hamsters calmed down and I added a new hamster cage to my list.
bought one, got home and got Willow into her new pad. everyone is very happy and all bleeding has stopped. why, after nearly a year of living together happily as three female hamsters did these two suddenly decide that they hate one another? (the third hammy, Cali, was sitting off to one side during the whole fight scene, washing her face and ignoring the whole fiasco)

all is well today. they're happy and calm again. for now.

Election is over, maybe now we can have more Twilight?

2008-11-05T09:32:00.002-05:00

OK, I may sound lame, but Yah! we have a new President and he is the first ever AA President for the USA. wanna know my concerns? I am so glad the political commercials can take a breather, which will free up a ton of time on TV and perhaps Twilight previews will become my crack(or heroin) that the increasingly slimey political ads were. I enjoy as the election gets nearer and the commercials that that...change to the dark side. they start out with trying to stick to the issues. taxes, education, medical....and then they become different. it's like at any minute someone is going to yell out, "omg! he killed 3 children and ate them at a BBQ and then he screwed his next door neighbor's dog and then he sucked up 15 lines of coke and now he's running for Congress! that's why you should vote for ME!"

so, 15 days until Twilight. got the soundtrack last night after I voted. I wasn't going to, but it was sort of a sign. I was at Target, and there was only 1 copy left. 1 copy of the Twilight soundtrack. for me. I got it, and then little man age 9 told on me. he totally gave up his Momma within like 5 minutes of me walking in the door. he saw it....yells out, "Momma bought something about the vampires!".
wanna know how I got back at him? I made him listen to it all the way to school today...mwahahahahahaa . oh yeah, just you wait and see who's 9 year old will be humming Linkin Park and Paramore....

review of the soundtrack= love Paramore, Linkin Park, Perry Ferrel. and I realy hate that I am saying this, but the Rob Pattinson song....ehhhh, umm perhaps is I could understand what he is saying I may like it more, but it honestly sounds liek his mouth is stuffed with cotton or he is on heavy sedatives and can't quite form the words completely. and really, it pains me to say that. I was all willing to say he was a wonderful singer. I will listen to it a few more million times and maybe he'll grow on me. or bite me.

and the candy, oh the candy!

2008-11-01T12:03:00.002-04:00

Halloween 2008 was definitely a success here in Florida! perfect weather, slight chill to the air, clear night. no mosquitoes. that's a first, I believe.
we had a Dementor, a karate girl and a monkey. the monkey only trick or treated for about 15 minutes until Grandma arrived and then he was left with Grandma for a night of all consuming spoiling to occur. I think they both enjoyed it, however apparently there was an incident where my little precious love did not want his diaper changed and proceeded to have a screaming, rolling, hitting fit while Grandma tried to wipe poop and cover him with a fresh diaper. I fixed the diaper when I got home....it was only fastened on one side and somehow he had not peed all over the house and himself.
we trick or treated down the street, picked up a neighbor and added him to the mix, and then went around almost the whole neighborhood.
2 huge bags of candy came home with us. the Dementor has discovered the joys of Pixie Sticks(after I instructed him on the proper eating technique, poor kid was trying to suck the sugar out, thus turning it into a stuck together sugar plug). the karate girl likes Starburst. the monkey had a Dum Dum and then stuck it to his Daddy's head.
I also got a bit of running into to night. neighbor boy decided he was done and I took him home and then ran back to find my group. while I was gone, a convertible had driven by and gave out Jello shots to the adults, candy to the kids. I always miss out on the good stuff.
and here we are, I was a Twilight Mom :)

I'm sort of kind of published!

2008-10-30T19:50:00.004-04:00

have you ever heard of this thing called fan fiction? I never had, not until I started my umm, extreme like of vampires and Twilight. so, there is a site called fanfiction.net . the whole idea is that anything you are a fan of, be it a book(Twilight), a movie, a TV show, a play...anything, you can write a story that either continues off where the story left off, or change the story around, or do just about whatever your little heart desires as long as you keep at least some of the original characters in it. if you have never looked, do it. there is some amazing writing out there! it can range anywhere form rated "Kiddie" to "Mature". and yes, you know I read the M stuff first;) lol
so, I started a story... ask for the link if you're interested, OK?

woohooooo, Twilight Momma moment!

2008-10-29T16:32:00.002-04:00

I just bought my tickets for the midnight premiere of Twilight! yes, I am one of THOSE people and loving every moment of the madness! woohoooooo! oh, and I've sucked in my niece through bribery and love;) I made her read the book. made her let me download the audiobook onto her ipod. and now, she's coming with me to this premiere. yes, I'm an addict who has forced to her become a co-dependant vampire lover. and I'm not sorry at all...........does that make me a bad Aunt or a good Aunt that I know she will love this and I want to be with her to see it?
I'm going with the second option, it doesn't sound quite so scary.

well, it's been a while....

2008-10-26T08:46:00.002-04:00

where has time gone that I have not posted since 10/13? (incidentally, that is the day that I met the man, in 1989) why do I remember this? becasue we were at a wedding and it was Friday the 13th. who in their right mind would PLAN a wedding for Friday the 13th? ehhh, they divirced, she is now on husband #3, not sure about the guy.
anyways, what has been happening to keep me so busy, you ask?
the man is better.
the 2 older kids got their first report cards and both are passing, although the boy needs to improve his math grade, soon.
the baby had his 18 month check up and is doing great, despite 3 shots:(
I have been warunning as much as I can, but not as much as I should be to get ready for the half marathon. must do this more so I do not embarrass my ass.
this week is red ribbon week at school. you know, the say no to drugs/ just say no/ don't smoke week. I am helping to decorate both kids' classroom doors. it's a contest of sorts, but the kids have to do all of the decorating. I am just putting up the white paper and telling them where to put thsi and that. hopefully it ends up looking presentable. daughter's classroom is right in the car pick-up line, so I'm hoping that one at least does not too horrible.
did I mention the man is better? yeah, I think I am wearing him out at night. he is not complaining, and hasn't asked why. let's just say in my already read Twilight 3 times and can't wait for the movie to come out, I've found some other reading material. fanfiction.net . yep, I'm 100% addicted. bringing my friends down into my addiction with me;) but hey, we've got husbands with big smiles:)

the invisible momma

2008-10-13T12:57:00.002-04:00

I am having one of those, "I must be invisible and mute, because no one is freaking listening to me when I say anything" moments.
yes I must have accidentally ingested the magic potion that makes me invisible. perhaps the children slipped it into my coffee?
want examples? sure ya do!
"E***, please put these shoes away. They do not belong in the middle of the kitchen floor."
silence
"1"
nothing
"2" I even spoke a bit louder this time.
no movement.
"3. you have just lost your DS for a day."
screaming, crying, pouting, alligator tears....pleads of "please! please! I was gonna do it, Momma".
yeah, the whole theory of "I was gonna do it" just does not fly. that implies that you heard me, chose to ignore me, consciously decided in your mind that yes, you would move your shoes, but only when you were darn well ready to do it and not 1 second before that. that is completely 100% not acceptable!

so, she lost her DS and then continued into a downward spiral of whining that landed her in bed by 7PM. and asleep by 7:15PM. the man thought I was callous and mean. the house was a LOT quieter without her screaming, though. the boys are so much easier...
it's that estrogen vs. estrogen that gets us into trouble.

why, how much do you want to know?

2008-10-08T11:53:00.002-04:00

so, a little background info is needed for this to make sense....

a week ago, the man was complaining of a headache. I asked him if he had taken any meds. his response was no. I gave him Motrin and he took it and said something to the effect of "hey, that helped. thanks." fast forward a few days, head still hurts behind his left eye. he goes to the eye Dr. and they say his eye is fine, but dry. he needs to use wetting drops. does he? not unless I physically tell him to open up his eye and I put the drops in. and his head still hurts. the Motrin helps, but he has some odd aversion to taking medication.
Monday he tells me he has a rash on his scalp.
yesterday(Tuesday) he wakes up and his left eye is almost swollen shut and the rash is now covering half of his forehead.
he calls our family Dr. and since the last time he went there it was 2000, he is considered a new patient again. they can't see him until Thursday. I tell him no way, you are going to CentraCare today. so, I came home form work early and took over baby care and he left.
he calls me about 30 minutes later and tells me he has shingles!

so, he has been back to the eye Dr. no damage has been done to the eye, but he has to go back again tomorrow for another exam. he waited too long before being seen and the 3 day window for antiviral drugs has past, so basically he has to wait it out. Motrin, Benadryl and anti itching cream is what he is using now.
he did call in sick to work today. and he is sleeping right now. but he looks like Hell. not exactly "Happiest Place on Earth" ready right now. I think he'll be behind the scenes for a while. aftre all, he does not work at a scary skin disease factory. perhaps he can transfer to Universal Studios for a bit?
we did have a good laugh last night. I explained to the kids what shingles is and they listened very well. well, I thought they did. daughter then proceeded to ask Daddy how his pringles were feeling? lol

oh, and as of right now...the baby has a fever of 101. very cranky.
not happy. at all.

is this the chicken pox or due to the fact that his lower canine teeth are almost broken through the skin? we shall see. if a rash breaks out, then I guess the vaccine did not work quite 100%. if he gets more teeth and goes back to being his normally pleasant baby self, then the good news is that he'll be done with teething for quite some time. I *think* these are the last ones. little man does not give me much access to his teeth.

multi-age fun

2008-10-04T08:10:00.003-04:00

I have mentioned I stop in at the school now and then. I have a volunteer position/job that I do that usually takes about 45 minutes every other week to complete. I have learned that if I go into the office at about 1:30, I can do my job and then have the last few minutes to go over to my daughter's classroom to help out and make sure everyone has all of their belongings in the correct backpacks and such.
so yesterday, I did just this. and when I went into daughter's class, it was somewhat typical chaos. a group of kids(K) were at a table with the teacher's daughter(high school senior)learning about money. a group of 1st graders were doing something with glue, string and popsicle sticks. and the 2nd graders were reading with the teacher at a table. I walked in and said I just stopped by to help, and she sent me to the glue fiasco/project.
"so, what are we making?" we're making a rainbow. or so they said.
OK.
let me explain the scene..... brown yarn, school glue, and wooden sticks. a rainbow, you say? ahhh, yes, I see it! (no, not really, but they were very excited and proud of themselves, so I nodded and smiled a lot)
so then they tell me the rest of the plan. they were constructing a rainbow and were then going to paint it. umm, yeah, you have like 5 minutes of school left for the day. no painting happening right now. disappointment fell over each face.

quick! think!

I look in the art closet and find a bazillion coloring pages of rainbows. I hand 1 out to each child and tell them their homework is to make the most beautiful rainbow they have ever seen. I told them to use any art supply at their house to help make it. they were happy. can't wait to see what they come up with!
after the first bell rang, I de-glued and de-sticked and de-yarned the table.
so then the teacher tells me that she wanted to talk to me about daughter for just a minute. instant panic set in...was she in trouble?
my son got there and I told them to sit down for a minute with their little brother so I could talk and then we'd go home.
seems that my daughter is doing really well in K so far. so well that the teacher is assuming she'll be ready for 1st grade material after the Christmas holidays.

thunk.

that was me, falling over.

"uhhh, really?"
"yes!"

damn! he got my logic gene!!!!!

2008-10-03T14:03:00.002-04:00

so, next week is school picture day. son #1 needs a haircut, desperately. his hair is not the kind of hair that looks good longish. it grows "out" and at all different angles because he has about 10 cowlicks scattered across his skull. however, he does not want to get his hair cut. is being rather opinionated about the whole subject.
I say, I am the Momma and if I say you are getting a haircut, you're getting a haircut. end of statement.
so what does he tell me this morning? he tells me if he gets his hair cut, he won't be able to have messy hair like the vampire on the computer.

I can't argue with that logic.

Robert Pattinson's Messy Hair

one of THOSE moments

2008-10-02T11:22:00.002-04:00

I know you've had a moment like this. every woman has them at some point or another. OK, maybe Bella has never had a moment like this with Edward. but well, he's a vampire, so I'm not sure if I can include them in my discussion.
but he is very nice to look at.
and Emmett, I like Emmett.
OK, back to topic....

so last night after dinner, we(meaning I) decided we would go for a family walk. I needed to get in at least 30 minutes or so of good walking and I decided the whole family should come along. the weather was nice, it was still daylight...why not, right?
so, I walk/run with baby in stroller.
the man walks, in flip flops.(don't ask...he told me halfway through the walk that he thought we were just going for a leisurely stroll, not sweat walking)
son #1 is on roller blades.
daughter is on bike.
the walk went well. I ran a bit, got a honk and a "woohoo" from a truck(which I could not respond to...because I was running and slowly dying at this point, but it did give me a bit of a lift that apparently some man out there in this world enjoyed seeing me run. with a stroller. and 2 other kids about 20 feet in front of me. and my husband about 20 feet behind me. but, whatever. thank you truck man for giving me that split second thought of, "oh, really? you like?".
then we turned around and went back. we got to the point where the trail crosses the road near our subdivision. a really BUSY road. stupid planning. so, the kids got there and waited for us. we have a drink of water and wait for our chance to cross the road. a time comes, and the man yells "go across!" and son #1 roller blades across while the man jogs across. daughter is at a dead stop on her bike and cannot just start riding across the street with no help/push. I'm behind her with the stroller. man and son #1 are now across the street and daughter is starting to roll. except now a car is coming. I scream at her to stop and then proceed to call my husband a few choice names and scream at him across the street. a Mom stopped and blocked traffic with her car so we could cross.(thank you, fellow Momma)
he tells me he was trying to help. yes.....seeing my child mowed down by a car right in front of me and the rest of the family would be ever so helpful. I told him(and I said this in front of the kids, which I now feel badly about)that that was the effing most irresponsible father moment of his life thus far. and if another such moment should happen, he'd better pray that I was not there to see it.
yeah, so, one of those moments where you question your life choices. a normally intelligent, good man does a really stupid thing. and you get to watch it all happen in front of you.
as my daughter would say..."ahhh, good times. good times."

party fun and Halloween preperations

2008-09-28T19:50:00.004-04:00

so yesterday was my son's birthday party. we had it at an indoor playground with those huge bounce houses and slides all over the place. you know, an air conditioned Florida type party where the parents can have free wifi access and coffee while their children run around like maniacs for 2 hours. it went well.
it was so great, in fact, that another of his friends was having his birthday party at almost the exact same time. the other little boy is not in my son's class this year, so I didn't feel too embarrassed that we were both there at the same time and a few of the boys were party hopping from room to room because they had been invited to both. we finally just opened up the connecting doors and the kids had fun having a bite of his cake and our cake, our pizza/their pizza, they had soda, we had juice boxes.all in all, it was a lot of fun for the kids and my 9 year old had a blast.

the birthday boy in blue with some buddies(and yeah...he's a head taller than everyone and these boys are all the same age)

today was spent with me putting together a Lego race car. (my sister bought this for my son, and yes, he attempted to put it together and then had a whole handful of extra parts left over and the wheels wouldn't move and the only thing that looked right was the driver. so, I snuck it away and re-assembled the thing.)hey, I only had 4 parts left over when I was done. and the wheels spin.
now my daughter has decided she wants to have her birthday party here, too. fine. easy. except she has 10 months until her next birthday. she's a planner, that one.
speaking of planning, the kids have their Halloween costumes decided upon already! oldest son is going to be a Dementor(a present) and is thrilled. he is not so thrilled that I refused to buy the Dementor dead hands that can be added to the costume. they're creepy looking dead hands with long nails. we'll pass.
daughter has gone from being a princess to a dead princess to a flying monkey to a karate girl. she can wear her brother's karate outfit and that's pretty easy. little man will be a monkey. the whole costume is very fitting as I extract him dailey from high places that I was sure he could never reach and he does so with apparent ease. he also happens to love bananas. and, hey, the costume is cute.

PTA fun

2008-09-25T13:10:00.002-04:00

OK, let me preface this statement by saying that I am not THAT PTA MOM that we all know. and you know what I'm talking about.... the Mom who is at school every flipping day and knows every member of the front office staff and cafeteria by first name and looks like she works there, but no, she is just hanging out at school everyday. I'm there maybe once a week. well, every other week.
so anyways, I volunteered for a job for the PTA. officially, every parent has to volunteer 15 hours per child enrolled each year at our school. not a lot, when you consider how long the school year is. an hour here or there. you can take home stuff from the teacher's to do at home.(I just cut out 22 "forms of transportation" for my daughter's K class). OK, so I can write down that I spent 1 hour cutting out shapes. easy, right?
apparrantly not.
apparrantly it is really difficult to even fill out the freaking form. the form that consists of your name, your child's name, and the teacher's name. mind boggling.
and how do I know it's so hard? because it is my job to add up all of the volunteer hours for the K parents. so I have gone in 3 times to do this so far. after the first time, I saw that the majority of the K teachers did not even HAVE the forms in the folders. I sent out an email to them, asking if they had them in their rooms? drop them off to Mrs. so and so and I will get them and I will file them for you.
no response.
I went in the second time, no changes.
I went in today, yeah...no changes. so, I asked the receptionist to print me up all of the K students names by class. I sat my butt down and filled out forms for all of these lazy ass parents and the book is now complete.
now, wanna hear the funniest thing? another Mom was there doing the same thing for
3rd grade. (and yes, my form was in there! lol) this Mom was huffing and sighing and making all of these exasperated noises next to me. I asked her if she was OK.(really, I wanted to say, "can you shut up? I'm trying to get this done and get out of here!") so she said, "ugh! half of these classes don't even have all of their forms! there are 3 forms for this class, 5 forms for this one. is that all the students that the 3rd grade has?". umm, no. 3rd grade is one of the largest groups. there are I think 6 3rd grade classes. so I tell her what I did, and she says, "oh, I didn't realize this job was going to be so taxing."
this job is taxing?
really?
what are you used to doing? going for pedicures dailey?
if that job is taxing, I would LOVE to know what this woman does all day.
oh, and I finished and left. she was still there, breathing heavily.

I have a 9 year old today!

2008-09-23T07:36:00.002-04:00

my oldest is 9 today!!!!!!!!!
he is getting so big(tall big, he is as skinny as can be) and is loosing that babyish quality. his face is changing. he has different sized teeth all over the place. his hair is forever a mess. and he cannot make his bed for anything.
but, he is so much fun. he has such a good sense of humor, and loves to joke around with me:) he will tell me these intricate, long details about a certain Pokemon and I will listen intently and nod and oooh and ahhhh.
and then, he will finish and say, "you don't know what I am talking about at all, right, Momma?"
"no, not a clue".
and he will shake his head and laugh and laugh......
we had chocolate cupcakes and milk for breakfast. his favorite dinner is spaghetti, salad and bread sticks. and more cupcakes. he is having a party on Saturday with kids and then family....I can't believe next year I'll have a double digit little!!!!

first day of Kindergarten

first day of 3rd grade

so, perhaps I am having a midlife crisis

2008-09-22T19:17:00.003-04:00

it just occurred to me that maybe that is what is happening to me. I am 38, turn 39 in January. I assume that qualifies me as middle aged.
let's see. I decided to write a book. I have had this thought in my head for a long time, but this is the first time I have actually committed myself to sitting down at least 3 times a week to seriously write it all out. the story is all in my head. but, it's long and it takes a lot longer to write it all out than what I had thought. but, I am working on it and I am happy with it so far.
I also just recently signed up to participate in the 2009 Walt Disney World Half Marathon. yeah, me. in an organized sporting event. go figure. I am doing it with a group from church for a charity and will post more info on this soon. (I have not gotten all of the info yet) so, yeah...13 miles. I can do that, right?
let's see, what else? I went blond and traded in the family mobile for a shiny red sports car.

yeah, that last part was a lie. I can't fit 3 kids into a shiny red sports car. and the man wouldn't fit in a shiny any color sports car. his legs don't fit in sporty cars. and, I don't have the patience for the upkeep on roots.

so all in all, writing a book and walking/crawling 13 miles for charity isn't so bad for a midlife crisis. I've seen much worse on TV.

yet another Houdini hamster

2008-09-22T07:34:00.004-04:00

before I started this blog, we had an incident with an escapee hamster who went missing in our house for 7 days. we(well, I)was sure it had become a cat snack and that the hamster was long gone. we were so sure, in fact, that we got a new hamster. and then, I found the hamster in the garage at the bottom of a 5 gallon bucket. very hungry. very thirsty. and very loving and happy to see her owners again.
so, fast forward a couple of years and we are now on hamsters #4, 5 and 6. the latest addition, #6, otherwise known as Willow, has decided she can do what Puddles could do and do it even better.
she has figured out how to open an opening that was secure, and then close it so that when I walk by the cage to check on her and see that there is no hamster in the hamster cage, and yet the cage is completely shut and secured. she has done this successfully 3 nights in a row.
the first morning, I did not notice her until I walked by the kids' bathroom and saw her sitting on the closed toilet, on her hind legs, looking at me as if she were casually saying, "oh, hi Momma". I had to do a double take to make sure it was Willow, and not some stray mouse that had somehow taken up residence on one of out toilets.
the second morning, she was simply gone. we found her a few hours later in the kids' closet.
the third morning(yesterday), she was again, gone. we found her behind the TV.
I made the decision to move Willow from the cute little pink Princess cage that apparrantly is crap for containment to the blue, sturdy, unescapable(in 3 years)other hamster cage. so, we now have 3 female hamsters living together. I am going to find the same brand cage (bigger) so that they have a bit more room. they all get along well, so I'm hoping there are no hamster wars that break out.
the daughter was not happy about getting rid of the pink cage. however, after being forced to crawl around the house on her belly with a flashlight 2 mornings in a row to find her little friend, she agreed that Willow needed a stronger cage. on a more positive note, we found countless bouncy balls, cars, Barbie clothing and 2 spoons during the hamster searches.

gray hair

2008-09-17T10:35:00.002-04:00

makes me depressed. I must go get my coloring supplies and have a little "make Momma look 35 again" party. and why do the gray hairs have to pop up where they are most visible? like, right on my part and at the temples? they couldn't be, say, underneath the middle of the back of my head. (and yes, I've checked...those are all still very auburn/brownish.
that's all for today.

in case you have ever wondered how many Hot Wheels cars can fit inside of a toilet.....

2008-09-13T17:18:00.003-04:00

I have that answer for! read on.....

"The number of Hot Wheels cars that can successfully inserted into a standard American toilet"

"oooh!!!! ooohhhhhh! Alex, I have that answer!!!!!!! pick me! pick me!"
that's me, waving my little clicker thingy wildly in the air, jumping up and down, smiling like a crazy woman at Alex Trebek

Alex smiles condescendingly towards the cray woman and says, "You'll need to phrase that in the form of a question".

I smile at my utter silliness of forgetting that most important part. "Of course, Alex", I say, in my most adoring voice. because he IS the God of trivia, you know.
"What is 23?" I ask, in a very securebeentheredonethatMomma voice. (yes, yes...I know that's not a "real" word)

"DING DING DING"
"that is correct!"

I smile in that all knowing smile that all of those freakishly smart people smile like. you know, the ones who know the first word of the Koran but probably could not change a diarrhea diaper without making the entire room a complete mess? those people.

and how do I knwo the answer to that question? (the one about the toilet) why, I have now added that experience to my Mommalife. today. this morning, in fact.
7:freakin 22 AM. I had 23 assorted Hot Wheels cars in my kid's bathroom toilet. courtesy of the smallest miracle. he was quite proud of himself. you see, I had made the ultimate Momma mistake #1 of taking a shower. whilst I soaped and exfoliated myself, the little love was gathering cars and shoving them down the toilet.
yes, they all came out. yes, the toilet was clean. yes, the water was all over the floor. yes, I gagged a bit and had to swallow that upcoming "I'm gonna hurl because my hand is all the way inside of the toilet and I KNOW what has been in this toilet" feeling.

thinking of installing those handy dandy high latches on all doors of the house. or perhaps I am raising a future Roto Rooter King. I haven't decided just yet.

September 11...again

2008-09-11T06:47:00.002-04:00

I'm going to take a short break from my usual blogging for today.

7 years have passed. 7 years since our country stopped and took in a deep breath and then sobbed. so many lives were lost that day and in the days that followed. so many lives are still being lost and there seems to be no end in sight. my son was not quite 2 years old when 9/11/2001 happened. will we still be at war when he turns 18? when do we as a country say "enough" and use our resources to make OUR country strong and safe and successful and say so long to this war that seems to be doing nothing but taking more sons and daughters away from us? I don't want to be one of those Mommas who get a letter saying "we regret to inform you....". I don't want any of my friends to be that Momma either.
enough is enough.

my heart and prayers go out to everyone who lost a loved one 7 years ago today.

PSA

2008-09-08T11:58:00.003-04:00

for the cleaning inept.

bleach and Tilex do not mix well. in an enclosed bathroom with the window and the outdoor door closed. yeah, my neighbor thought I was dying. not dying, just...cleaning the shower. just made it outside and was able to sit on the lounge and gasp in some oxygen. all is well now. shower is sparkling.

the BEST child birthday party ever!

2008-09-07T16:23:00.002-04:00

yeah, so last night I took my son to a birthday party. I dropped him off, went and did the grocery shopping in peace, and then dropped off the food at home and returned to the party. I had my vampire shirt on. another Mom was in the party room and immediately smiles and says, "cool shirt". ahhhhhhh! I spent the next 2 hours talking Twilight with this woman.
best birthday party ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a little field trip with the kids

2008-09-06T13:41:00.004-04:00

well, I looked over my previous posts and I cannot believe I have not once mentioned in here(other than my book list)that I, a Momma, am kinda sorta well really interested in the Twilight series of books and the upcoming movie that opens 11/21(which is a wonderful date...the Friday before Thanksgiving, so it's sort of like a mini vacation for all of us Americans). whew...can you say holy run on sentence?
so anyways, I have read all of the books. yes, even the leaked super secret 12 chapters of the unfinished novel and I loved that, too. (if you have no idea what I'm referring to, please, go here and see what I mean. it is a really fantastic series to read and it sort of just sucks you in. (hee hee, I said it sucks you in.you'll get it after you read the books. I promise, it's funny.)
OK, OK, where does a field trip come into all of this, you ask? why let me tell you. here in the USA, we have a store in most suburban malls called Hot Topic. it's a different kind of store. darkish. very loud music. lots of skull merchandise. t shirts galore of every rock band you have never heard of and also a ton of shirts from TV and movies.
I needed to go in. you see, they carry Twilight merchandise. I will say we balanced all of the skulls and horror themed merchandise with a quick trip to Toys R Us beforehand. so, I was glad/relieved out of my mind that the Twilight shirts were right up front. I was, by far, the oldest person in the store. by about 20 years. so there I was, pushing the Graco with the baby in it, the 5 and 8 year olds in tow behind us, inside Hot Topic. I chose my shirt quickly(I already knew which one I wanted)and then we browsed a bit. the baby was be-bopping away to the music, smiling, giggling at every person who looked at him. his new thing is to wave and say "Ha". they loved him! the 8 year old was enthralled with The Nightmare Before Christmas display. the 5 year old was amazed that apparently, adults wear Miffy and Hello Kitty t shirts(all of the shirts were in adult L and XL sizes???).
and then, I paid for my shirt and got involved into a lengthy discussion on why the salesgirl should absolutely read the 12 chapters of Midnight Sun and how wonderful it is.
my children have now seen my geeky, vampire loving side. they didn't run screaming. my son did ask me if I was going to wear the new shirt "outside of the house". ohhhhh, yes, dear son of mine, yesss, Momma is.

hoomicanes and other weather news

2008-09-04T14:56:00.005-04:00

we had this discussion this morning...
E "there are 3 storms now, Momma"(watching the morning news)
me "yes, but hanna is headed north of us, up to where grandpa lives"
E "well, where should we move to? there must be somewhere that doesn't get these, these, hoomicanes"

omg, I had to literally swallow a gulp of coffee that burned my throat to keep myself from laughing. she was so serious. once the burning stopped, I showed her on the map where hurricanes hit. then we discussed tornado alley. then we discussed earthquakes, blizzards, heavy rain areas, desert conditions, volcanos, and eskimos came up as well. so, you see, hurricanes are OK. at least we can know ahead of time where it is and what to do to get ready. she was OK with this explanation and then asked me if we chose to live in Florida because of the hoomicanes.
I just smiled and said, "yes, yes we did"

Happy Labor Day 2008

2008-09-01T10:55:00.002-04:00

well, the long weekend has finally decided to show some sunshine:) Saturday was gray and raining and windy(compliments of Hurricane Gustav off of the coast)and generally miserable. miserable because we were trapped in the house and I never thought I'd say thank goodness for a Pokemon marathon on a cartoon channel.
and here we are, labor day is here and at this very moment I am awaiting one of either 2 things to happen. a child will be screaming soon in pain or excitement. my dughter has decided she no longer needs training wheel son her bike. the man is right now taking them off of the barbiefied pink bicycle while she supervises.
my older son has absolutely no desire to learn to ride a bike. none at all. his last bicycle is now hanging on a hook awaiting for his baby brother to grow into it. he is happy to rollerblade like a crazed maniac on the loose and now he also is trying the skateboard. a bike? nope, not his speed.
thank goodness for all of that Nasa made technology for helmuts.