Thursday, May 29, 2008

more man funnies

I am currently making 18 children's t shirts for field day at son's school. they are representing Japan, and they are wearing white t shirts with red circles, and the teacher is writing "Japan" in Japanese inside the circle. she chose this, I have no idea what the other classes are doing for their country. if they show up with plain shirts and a country's name written on them, I may be a bit peeved. my other thought was this...and maybe this is from me being raised in the South and having some very pro-military family members, but my concern was this,"will any of the kid's parents be upset that their kids are representing a country that bombed us and killed a LOT of people?". now, true, most 2nd graders do not know what Pearl Harbor is or what happened there. but, back to my point...I have 18 t shirts scattered throughout the kitchen and garage with red circles of paint drying on them.
the man came home and his response was this... "hmmm, making shirts?"
I love this man. his simple and to the point thought process never ceases to amuse me. I answered with a bewildered look and a "what? what do you mean?"(cuz I can be evil)
man->"well, did you see all of the shirts in the kitchen?"
no, I have been at home all day and have not wandered through the room called the kitchen once. the children have eaten directly from the garden and drank rainwater all day. we haven't ventured into the...dum da dum dummmm.... KITCHEN.
me->"umm, yeah. what do you think? do you like them?"
"well, they're all the same" (seriously, I can't make this stuff up)
"mm hmmmm"
man->"well, were they supposed to be all the same?"
"yes, they are for ****'s class. everyone will have matching shirts"
"oh, well, then you did pretty good. they match"

now, notice there is no mention of the red circle design or what the importance of that design is. all he was concerned about was that perhaps his wife just spent a lot of time making 18 shirts look exactly alike and maybe she did not mean for that to happen but, since she did want that to happen, it's all good. you know, looking at this conversation makes me think that the man really has concerns over my psychological capabilities. let's see him take care of 3 children, a dog and a fish and a house and make 18 shirts and not loose your mind.
now that would be entertaining to watch.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I am a foster Momma!

so the other day, I noticed this bird kept flying and circling out mailbox. she has been a little annoying, really. if I go out to the mailbox, she starts to get a little nervous and will close in and fly in closer circles, like she is getting ready to dive at me at any given moment.
well, I guess a few brain cells were damaged in the 80's. it never occurred to me until this morning that maybe she had a nest inside the jasmine bush that surrounds our mailbox.
so, how did I start my 2008 Memorial Day? why, I walked out to my mailbox at 6:45AM to look in the bush.
and guess what???? there are 3 baby birds in there. this Momma bird is a genius! she has the best nest spot I have ever seen! the mailbox has a "Y" support, with the mailbox screwed into the tops of the Y. the nest is directly underneath the mailbox and completely covered by the jasmine bush. I had to push the bush a bit to see them, and the Momma was not too happy with me. but, I think she knows I am a Momma, too, and us Mommas, well, we like to look at each others babies, right?
I have no idea when they hatched,
but here they are today 5/26/08~


















and here is ds, showing how well the nest is hidden~


















and today, 5/29...
they are getting a bit louder now and were not
too happy that I was not their Momma with yummy worms!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Church annoys me sometimes(wow, that is a really awful statement, I know...sorry, God)

so, maybe "annoy" is a strong word. no, annoy is the right word. and it's not the actual church that is annoying, some of the people who attend it are down right rude.
the people I am mainly referring to are other Moms.
I work in our church Nursery. yeah, just can't get away from the smallest crowd. my little one goes with me and the other 2 go to Sunday School. let me use this blog of mine to share some helpful hints of parents of children under the age of 2 who may attend a Nursery at some point....
1.) if your child is sick, stay home. God has told me point blank that it is A OK for you to skip a week if your offspring are spewing greenish colored fluids from their noses or other regions. remember, when you are 2 or so, other people are required to help you blow your nose, and these other people can sometimes be another 2 yr old when you are in a Nursery setting. not a pretty thing.
2.) when you bring your child in, if your child wears a diaper, have extras. perhaps, dare I say, bring a bag???? it amazes me every week when parents drop off littles and have no diaper bag. yes, the church has a supply of some extras, but not enough for every child every week.
3.) if you arrive at church late, and the service has already begun, don't get pissy with me if I tell you that the Nursery is already filled to capacity and your child can stay only if you stay with him/her. we have rules for your child's safety regarding how many children can be watched in ratio to how many adults are in there with them. I'm not picking on you, it's not personal, it's my job.
4.) when the children's program is the whole service, your child may actually enjoy going to the service with you.
5.) if your child is a little monster who hits and pinches and bites, I'm gonna tell you all about it. if it happens repeatedly, you may see your name pop up on the screen in church asking you to report to the Nursery immediately. this is usually not a good sign.
6.) don't stand right outside the half door and watch your child cry and scream for you at drop-off time. walk a few steps away so little one cannot see you. I promise you, the crying most always stops within a few minutes. if it doesn't we will page you. we don't want your little to cry, either.
7.) and, last but not least...don't freak out if your child gets a cookie and watches a Veggie Tales movie while you are gone. if you are so concerned about sugar consumption and limited TV time, take them to church with you. we're doing our best to keep these kids safe, happy, and content until Mommy and Daddy return in an hour. a few cookies can work wonders.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Room Mom adventures

so, I think I have mentioned that this year I became "Room Mom" for my son's class. did not actually apply for this position, but I have taken it on and have had fun getting to know the kids and the teacher this year. I tackled the school carnival and only had to actually call a few parents to ask them ever so nicely when I could expect their "stuff" for the class basket. I sat at the class booth the entire carnival doing temporary tattoos. I had lots of volunteers on paper. the one that did show up had never applied a temporary tattoo before and destroyed 5 of them on 1 poor little child before saying, "oh, I'm not good at this" and she left. uhhh, it's a little piece of paper, a sponge, and you count to about 30 in your head. it's not rocket science. she could have stayed so I could go grab something to eat and/or drink(no rum, Holly), at least. but poof, she was outta there. I think she is definitely not a tattoo person.
so now I learn about something called "Field Day". I am not entirely sure what happens, but each class had to choose a country to represent, and son's class chose Japan. teacher wants each child to have a "Japan" t-shirt. white shirt with a red circle and then they will each write in Japanese "Japan" on it. I am currently on shirt #6. 13 to go. hey, it's a holiday weekend, what plans could I possibly have?
tomorrow is my daughter's graduation from pre-school. and today she is now officially registered for Kindergarten. she is so ready for school. she is completely prepared to walk in and take over that joint. "I have a big brother and he is going to third grade next year and I know where the bathroom is already so I am gonna rock Kindergarten." this is what my sweet girl told the guidance counselor today during registration. yeah...I think I saw her make a note of her name for future reference.
in other exciting family news, my littlest one has discovered a new use for the stove. it is no longer a cooking appliance, it is a fort.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

well, the day started off well...


older son was this week's Terrific Kid at his school! there was a little ceremony with cookies and juice and a certificate saying he is indeed, "terrific" and was attended by the Principal(who does actually exist...every other time I try to see her she is "out"). he had a great time, the baby threw up on me, and everyone enjoyed their cookies.
got wiped up as much as possible with baby wipes and walked the kids back to their classroom, smelling like puke. lovely scent you're wearing today, Mrs. F...why thank you, it's "eau de bebe"...the latest fashion.
so, the plan was to get home and take baby and me into the shower. baby fell asleep, so I put him to bed and as I was about to get into the shower, I decided to check on our hamster quickly. she has been acting a bit odd lately and not looking so great. we have had her for 2 years, and she is usually a very happy, lovable hammy. but lately, she did not come to your hand when you put it into the cage to pick her up/pet her...she just wanted to be left alone and her eyes were getting cloudy and she started loosing her hair.
so, Momma instinct told me to check on her. yep, she was gone:( all curled up in her little nest, eyes closed.
Cutie 2007

so, we had a hamster funeral. my daughter chose the place and picked a flower and said a little prayer. it was cute, she said something about how now Cutie could have as many squeaky wheels to run on as she wanted because now she could run on them in Heaven and not wake us up every night. that's my girl...sleep is very important. (see previous post)
now I have to break the news to my son, the hamster was "his". (but in Momma terms that means he chose her and the color of the cage and liked holding her once the cage was cleaned, the water bottle was filled, the food dish was filled and the hamster was smelling good. in other words, I took care of her, but she was his pet.)but, he will be very upset. he loved this little hamster so much. he would walk around the house with her in his pocket, and every now and then, she would peek her head out to see what he was doing. she seemed to especially enjoy when he played Gamecube and she could sleep in his pocket:)
goodbye, Cutie. you'll be missed.....

Monday, May 19, 2008

Snooze Button Wars

we've been married a long time. almost 15 years long. we know one another very well. I can tell when he walks in the door if he is in a good mood/ bad mood/ tired/ hungry/ let me go change clothes and leave me alone for 30 minutes mood. and he knows how unwell I deal with a lack of sleep.
I feel that the time has come for the man to have his very own alarm clock, on his side of the bed, within his arm's reach, and perhaps an earbud with the alarm attatched to him.
why do I say this? let me tell you waht my morning was like...
11PM- go to bed, long weekend of busy stuff...baby has a slight cold
3AM- baby wakes up, crying, stay up with him for an hour and then he falls back to sleep
4:15AM- radio goes on(alarm is set to radio)for the man...but he does not get up until 5, usually, so I assume he must have to get up earlier than usual today for some reason and push snooze button.
4:24AM- radio goes on again(snooze = 9 minutes)...I hit snooze button and ask him if he has to get up early today, he replies with a "ummphgrhhp"
4:33AM- radio again, I let it play for a few minutes. he then says, "grmppphhhannnoffff".
4:49AM- radio again. he asks me if I can hit snooze for him. I ask him if he thinks this is the 1st time I will be hitting snooze, because if I hit a button at this point it is the off button, not the snooze. he sits up, look sat clock, and says, "oh, yeah, snooze it. I've got a few minutes". excuse me? you have a few minutes? well than why is the alarm set to a certain time if you do not need to
be up at that time? my right arm needs the extra exercise? I think not. I turned it off.
5:22AM- he sits up quickly and bolts out of bed saying, "did you turn it off????"
I ignore him and sleep for my 45 more minutes.
my alarm is set for when I really intend on getting up and starting the day. it is not a "vague starting point".

Thursday, May 15, 2008

OK, I'm past Mother's Day now

onto new postings. not thinking about it anymore.


on that note, son's school carnival is tomorrow! it is always lots of fun, and lots of work. but, this year I think we have the work part under control, mainly because the teacher chose an easy thing to do at our booth...temporary tattoos. we have tattoos, sponges, water, trash bag, paper towels....and a sign that I made. only problem is that for some amount of time I will have all 3 kids and be working at said tattoo booth with no man around. he is supposed to "try" to get out of work early, but we'll see. worst case scenario is I have a munchkin in a playpen, a 4 year old who thinks she is 30 and an 8 year old who thinks he runs the school on my hands. easy, right?
so in addition to the carnival, each class made a basket for a raffle. probably 10% of them ended up being an actual basket. the rest are huge towers/boxes/coolers filled with great stuff. there is a poker table with all of the fixings for a poker night. there is a tent with all of the camping gear you could need. there is a computer system. our theme was the beach. we have a great set up with a cooler, beach bag and grill all filled with beach stuff. the parents donated some really cool stuff! (did I mention I am room mom?)
OK, off to find and make sure the playpen has everything I need to keep a 13 month old happy and occupied in it, a small cooler with snacks and drinks, the tattoo stuff, and tropical clothing for all of us to wear. oh, and I need to do a load of laundry, mop the kitchen, and vaccuum. the fun days of me, I tell ya. the excitement is overwhelming.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mother's Day can be the suckiest holiday

I really do not ask for a lot. and I am in a nice home, drive an OK car, and have 3 wonderful, healthy children. why then, does the man have to piss me off every flipping Mother's Day? is it too much to get a cup of coffee brought to me? is it unreasonable that someone besides me makes breakfast for once? is it totally insane for me to get to actually sleep 8 hours in a night? uninterrupted?
well, I guess I ask for way too much from this man, because, I got none of that. zilch. zero. nada.
that is, until around 2PM when it was painfully obvious that there was not anything planned, that I had my quiet little hissy fit and told my husband just how much he sucked. I brought up his dead Mother, I told him I'll bet he never ever dared to blow off Mummy's Day with HER, I told him if I had known today was going to so depressing that he should have told me ahead of time so I could just leave and spend the day by myself. after this hissy fit, he immediately raced around the house putting on clothing(yes, it was 2PM)and grabbed 1 child and left. I laid down to take a nap while the baby was asleep and son#1 was in the backyard playing in the sandbox and planning a mass dinosaur invasion.
so, he returned and then told me he needed my help to make my present. woke me up to tell me this. he was racking up the husband points like wild.
my present was a white t-shirt that he wanted all 3 kids to do handprints on. (OK, wonderful thought and I love that kind of stuff. however, I made him this same shirt in 2003 and actually had it ready for him on Father's Day so he could wear it). he did not know what kind of paint to use. where is the paint? do the kids open the fabric paint themselves and squirt it onto the shirts and smear it to make a handprint? I swear to you, this does nothing for my opinion of a Catholic school career...wtf never made a t-shirt with fabric paint? guess they were too busy memorizing the Bible to have art class????
so, I got the paint out, showed him how to open the paints, got some cardboard to place under the shirt, did little daughter's hands so he could watch, and then he took over and did the boys' handprints. it turned out very cute. I haven't worn it yet because it is still wet due to the copious amount of paint used. maybe it'll be ready next Mother's Day.
so, after all of this....he says at about 5PM,"where should we go for dinner?" umm, no. all 3 kids need baths from playing in the sandbox and adding the hose into the dinosaur invasion/flood scene son#1 created, it's 5PM on Mother's Day and I know every restaurant will be packed. and, if he had noticed earlier, I had spaghetti sauce cooking and water turned on to start boiling already for the pasta.
I know that all men are not this....clueless. I know that some women out there actually had a marvelous day yesterday and I am so happy for them.
am I upset? do I hold a grudge?
damn right I do and when Father's Day rolls around, he can kiss his coffee and sleeping in time goodbye. my plans are still foggy, but any suggestions on ho to make his day as sucky as mine was are welcome.